A Man For All Seasons (Queen or Freddie Mercury Fanfic)

35. The Things We Do for Love, Part Two

Freddie

Aha, there it is.

I found myself strangely neither enraged, nor startled, at the question. I seemed to have expected it to return eventually, offering me another opportunity to keep my head and deliver a simple, honest response without ruining everything again. Still, it did nothing to prevent the fresh waves of shame crashing down on me. All of a sudden I wanted to talk about Gertrude, the disastrous meet-up, my death day (or year, depending on which version of me we would be discussing)- God, anything but this.

For what could I say about Roxie at this point? Julia would never believe me. Why would she, when I had given her next to no reason to?

The song playing over the speakers, which was some eccentric little tune that I had only heard once before on Julia's road mix (I don't remember the title, but at one point it goes something like "Diamond sparrow, my moonlight majesty/ you know I need you, come flying back to me", so do with that what you will if you're curious), had ebbed away and been replaced with none other than "Heroes" by David Bowie. Under any other circumstances I would have welcomed the song, but somehow, this time, it made me all the more anxious. Abruptly I decided the fried eggs on my plate were far too white for my liking. I grabbed the pepper shaker and dusted them till they looked like Pompeii post-eruption.

"You don't have to answer that, Freddie," Julia sighed. "It's not important, nor is it any of my business. In fact, let's pretend I never mentioned it."

My jaw clenched. God, I fucking hated it when she did that. The voice, the words, the body language- every fucking thing about that safe, diplomatic, politically correct rubbish she resorted to for fear I should blow up in her face. But now I despised it even more, knowing that I had only fed this fear by playing into it over and over again. I slammed the shaker down much more forcefully than I had intended, sending a loud, angry clang across the table's metal surface and making Julia jump.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that," I said quickly.

"It's all right, I just wasn't expecting it," she replied.

"I know. And also, um- yes."

"Yes, what?"

I cleared my throat. "What- you asked before. I was just saying that- yes, I did- I did give it to her."

"Oh." A pained look dashed across her features. "Well, that doesn't surprise me, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that the ring means a lot to her. I don't think I have ever seen her without it, it's a piece of her identity. So if you were the one who put it on her finger, it makes sense that she would treasure it so." Julia smiled sweetly, which only pushed the blade deeper into my heart. "But anyway, you'd better eat, your food is getting co-"

"Darling, listen," I interrupted. "I don't know what sort of story she gave you but it was not -there was nothing serious about it. At least, not in terms of, you know, her and me individually. We were together one night. One. That's all."

Her brows shot up, making clear that Roxie had painted a very different picture. "So it was just a one-night stand?"

"Exactly. What did she say happened?"

"Roxie said you guys had a passionate, weeks-long affair, and then-"

"That's a lie!" I cried. "She lied to you!"

"I kind of figured she did, to a point," Julia nodded.

"No, not to a point! All the fucking way!"

"I believe you."