Expressing sentiments

3

Bleak

January 14, 2020
It's so easy for a person to say that she hates a person or a thing. Then she will get through a lot, especially when she hates everything. Her life was full of hatred and pain. Sadness was her favorite friend. It was so hard for her to trust because her attachment is bad. She always claimed that she only felt sad. That didn't make her parents glad. Change is inevitable in life; it will come and affect you. Changes bring disappointment and other unpleasant surprises. Bleak doesn't appreciate everything she has. But you already knew that; now that she has something to cherish, a sensation that no one can quantify, she has discovered love and happiness in her affairs.

January 14, 2019
Nothing special; it's another cloudy day for Bleak. She's now eating her breakfast, which is scrambled eggs and rice. She was silently praying for rain when her parents came down from upstairs. Her parents greeted her with a smile; she returned the greeting with an awkward smile that turned her mother's happy expression sad. Bleak has been feeling blue, and their house is not too big for her parents not to notice. Bleak lost her friends to make the story short. Her friends betrayed her five years ago, teaching her to build walls and not to trust people anymore. Bleak trusts people easily and cares too much. She was confused about why her friends betrayed her when all she did was treat them well. Yeah, Bleak trusted and cared too much, but she didn't appreciate what she had. Her heart broke when her friends betrayed her. And after crying, she lost herself. She doesn't care anymore. All she thinks now is that everyone doesn't deserve her care and trust. Yes, just like that. Her relationship with her parents became blurry, and now she feels loneliness and always refers to herself as a loner.

February 21, 2019
Hate, hate, hate—only hate She only felt hate as she looked out the window and threw bad comments at the sun while sitting in her chair and listening to her classmates' noise.
"What a bad day." Unconsciously, she said while waiting for the bell to ring that she hates school.

March 16, 2019
Another night for Bleak to cry from pain, sadness, and hate.
"If my life is a story, it would be a lame one," Bleak joked to herself.
Unexpectedly, Bleak prayed to make things better; she's tired—emotionally tired.

April 12, 2019
It's sunny at the moment, and she's inside her room looking at the sun. She realized that she didn't hate the sun after all.
"What a weird day," she said genuinely.

May 28, 2019
Bleak is having dinner alone when her parents arrive unexpectedly. And for the first time, she felt love from them. She doesn't reply to her parents' "I love you," but she knows, and she feels it. She is devoted to her parents.

June 10, 2019
It's the first day of school, and she doesn't want to go; she's afraid and such. It's her first day at her new school. She's in a new school with a new start, but she's still afraid to trust and care again. "No more heartbreaks," she reminds herself.

June 27, 2019
She met someone, but she claims she's better now. Overthinking it, her old friend came back.

July 17, 2019
Bleak and her parents are okay now. She smiled, for she noticed that God was answering her unanswered prayers. As she noticed, God made it better. She had noticed her changes, and she had also noticed that her best friend, sadness, had not contacted her since school began.
"This doesn't feel wrong, but weird."

August 23, 2019
Unknowingly, Bleak is starting to feel happiness from her family, from the people around her, and from someone.

September 12, 2019
"Sadness, where are you now?"
Being happy is a weird feeling for her, as is trusting people again. She's afraid, but she found herself getting attached to someone.

October 28, 2019
She felt her walls breaking down. She cried again for the first time, for she realized that she couldn't get away with this. It looks like love is haunting her.
"Maybe I should face it," she advised herself.

January 14, 2020
She now believed that everything had a reason for changing so smoothly. It's been a month since she found love. She learned to love herself and to trust again. She may say she doesn't care, but everything just felt brand new to her. Because love is the opposite of hate, she learned that you can't feel hate alone. To maintain balance, you should feel both love and hatred. You might go insane if you only feel hatred. Bleak is now optimistic; contrary to what her name implies, she has finally overcome sadness and hatred. 

January 28, 2023
She lost that love but found it within herself. She realizes that it's not the people around her; it's her. She learned to accept her flaws and love herself more. She isn't chasing happiness anymore because happiness is where she is. She's living her life in contentment without someone to rely on.