I smile.
I laugh.
I enjoy life,
Until I don't.
I am told to be happy.
I am told to be joyful.
I am exuberant.
I am excited.
But there is a time for that.
A time to be bubbly,
And a time to be serious.
They tell me to focus,
They tell me to concentrate.
But how can I focus when I'm laughing?
I can't.
I don't.
I flip a switch inside myself.
My smile fades.
My sneer appears.
My laughter dies.
My breathing evens.
I become dead.
Numb.
Gone.
Nothing.
The switch scares me.
For how can someone,
Go from so happy,
To so numb, so fast?
The light in their eyes,
turning into a madness,
a darkness.
It takes little time to turn.
To be unexcited.
To be uninterested.
To be numb.
Yet it takes so long to be happy.
So much effort to be joyful.
So many muscles to smile.
I cope by not feeling.
I feel by not acknowledging,
That others are cruel.
I am tense,
I am cruel when I need to be.
Serious when I need to be.
And that scares me.
I want to be kind.
I want to be happy.
I want to live a lively life.
Yet when asked, I don't live.
I don't feel.
I don't do emotions.
I do facts.
I do pain.
And who does that make me?
What does that make me?
A monster?
A robot?
A hamster?
Who am I with this darkness within me?
YOU ARE READING
This Is Me
PoetryHow life can suck, be not good, no fun, and confusing but full of love. How one person describes themself and their life with few words, lots of emotion, and deep thoughts(sometimes). The complex and unique words, explain one life out of billions. ...
