Seven Deadly Men 🔞

32. Falling

There was no word or sign from Lexie over the next few months and they had all fallen back into a comfortable routine. The guys had started working on a new album about a month after Namjoon had woken up. He had spent the most time with Jungkook, making up for lost time with him since he was the most sensitive. Celine understood but she was starting to miss them both. Really, she was starting to miss them all. As much as she understood, she hadn't been spending as much time with any of them. They had all withdrawn from her, making excuses about needing to work on their music or having dance practice. Even Jimin seemed to be avoiding her. 

She had moved apartments just one floor below the shared group apartment. If any of them were ever there. They had all also bought their own individual places across the city. They weren't too far away but every time she went up to the shared apartment no one answered the door. Not sure if they really weren't there, or if they were just avoiding her, she had started to consider just moving back to the US. They had been through so much together but maybe they were hurting too much now to continue on. She had put them through hell as they tried to protect her. 

Today the rays of light coming in through the window illuminated her apartment and she could her the cheerful music of the birds chirping outside. It was a beautiful day but it made her want to throw up. Drawing the curtains closed, she wrapped her robe tighter around her waist as she fell down onto her couch in misery. She groaned at just thinking of going outside. She wanted to feel sorry for herself. She had seven amazing men who all seemed interested her and now she was down to zero. After she cared for them so deeply that it cut through her chest like a knife and made the queasiness in her stomach roll so much that she almost couldn't breath. Now that they were free she was useless to them. They no longer needed her energy. Why was she so stupid? Why would they care if Lexie came after her? It's not like she mattered. She was just in the way of their dreams at this point. She couldn't be a part of their world. Sharing in their music, dancing, and touring. She couldn't sing or dance. She could go on tour with them but wouldn't she just be in the way? Still, she thought she had meant something to them. It sucked. She had fallen in so deeply with them. She had told Yoongi and Jimin that she loved them. She knew she loved Jungkook but she was stupid and afraid to tell him. Hell, she loved them all but those three, she knew with absolute certainly that she was in love with them. 

As her tears fell down one by one, increasing their pace more and more rapidly, she choked on her sobs and felt the intensity rising in her chest. She was gasping for air, trying to hold back her panic at her thoughts. What if Lexie found her? What if she tried to kill her? Would it matter? Would they miss her? No, they couldn't. They didn't want her now. She was used up. Maybe if she hadn't been such a whore. With all of them? Really Celine? You know better. A part of her knew that they would never use her like that but that voice in the back of her head kept screaming at her. Worthless. They never loved you. You were just a tool that they used. You're not worthy of their love. They could be with anyone they wanted. Maybe even right now. Her thoughts had her clawing at her robe, tearing the material away from her skin. She couldn't stand the way it felt right now. Ripping it away from her body, she was lying on her couch in a thin pair of lacy black underwear as she reached for her phone. She wasn't sure who she wanted but her fingers somehow dialed Jungkook's number into it.

It picked up on the second ring. "Hello?" He was met with silence on the other side of the line. "Celine? Is everything okay?" Hearing the choked out sobs on her end, he replied, "shit! Celine, are you at home?" 

She couldn't bring herself to say any words and instead let out a quiet confirmation "uh-huh" into the phone. 

"I'm nearby. Give me five minutes and I'll be right there." Hanging up the phone, all Celine could do was stare at it through her tears.