Falling for Rosie

|| 13 ||

Samuel's POV

I think I've gone mad, and if I havent already I am on the edge of madness

I've never been the type to dwell on things or on people, I find that giving things too much thought ends up hurting in the long run, give something too much importance and its effect on you has the deadliest consequences

I learned that the hard way, and with it learned to swallow back petty emotions from escaping, keeping it to myself

But somehow one thought, one sliver of emotion that I thought was long buried inside me, crept out and let itself known, in front of my assistant of all people, I dont know how or why I let my self crack, to let even the smallest amount of my emotions show in front of her

Maybe it was just the nostalgia of being in the park, the memories that it carried, and she who just happened to be there to see the emotion

No it wasn't that, I'd be lying to myself if I said it was a spur of the moment, done without intention when really I wanted to tell her.

It was her smile brightening under the moon, as she spoke about her happy memories, how she was so free to speak and open up about her childhood

I envied that freedom of hers

To speak about one's childhood without dealing with the pain that came with it

I wanted to see her twist in embarrassment when I told her even just a brief bit of my childhood, to see her stutter in shame to cover up her pity, maybe then it would teach her to try to make me go easy on her, but there was no embarrassment, shame or pity, there was only sadness, and pain in her forestry green eyes that we're usually lit up with joy seeing that caused a tightness I couldn't explain or identify

Why are you looking at me like that I wanted to ask, but couldn't bring myself to

The feeling stayed all throughout the weekend, I could barely sleep, that it was ticking me off, why would her reaction have such a long lasting effect on me, why do I care if I caused her pain, she shouldn't be caring about me, this is her fault

She probably cares cause I've been soft on her lately, she probably thinks we are friends, I need to shatter that

But why? I could hear my subconscious whisper

Because her influence is bad, that I cant explain it, I need her gone, and when she is gone this tightness will go with her, Im trying to take my mind of things by work, but it wasn't going well

Every document I read I had to read twice or more as lost focused halfway

Focus

Focus

Focus

I couldnt help but look up, as if knowing she would be there watching as she went to her desk settling her things in, there was a desk right by my door that leads to my private office that usually close, but forgot to close again

it was becoming a bad habit.

She looked breathtaking, her long strawberry red hair flowing down her back in big loose curls, her light pink blouse tucked neatly into her form fitting skirt that hugged-

"Good day Mr Blake" that painfully joyful voice practically echoing in my ear, making the tightness more painful

I finally say pulling my self out of a trance "oh yea Good morning"

"can I get you a coffee?" That warm smile of her's only increased the tightness I was feeling, I didnt understand it, nor did I want to

"Yea, 4 shots of espresso, no sugar" I say a little too harshly, expecting a snarky comment or a heated glare but her warm smile stayed stubborn on her face