It's already 3:47 am at nag-iisip pa rin ako while admiring her from a little distance. Nakakunot ang noo niya and she's whimpering. She's having a nightmare. I tapped her cheek at kalaunan ay nagbukas na rin siya ng mata.
"Hey, binabangungot ka." sambit ko. Umupo siya sa kama at ako naman ay tumayo para abutan siya ng tubig.
"Thank you." she muttered after she took a sip. "May dreams ako ulit. Ang...ang familiar. Parang yung ginawa mo kanina when you played with my hair..." aniya sounding so puzzled.
"W-what about it?" kinakabahan kong tanong.
"It's just...parang sanay ako. And your voice...uhm, nevermind. Baka dahil lagi lang tayong magkasama lately kaya ganun. I'm sorry, did I wake you up?" aniya.
"Uh, no. Hindi lang din ako makatulog."
"I'm hungry. I'll order food. Jollibee?" she asked. Tumango nalang ako.
"Kumusta pala ang recovery mo? Ilang weeks palang, may progress naman ba?" tanong ko.
"Not that much. I always hear someone singing. Doing what you did, you know, playing with my hair. And, it's a girl. I don't know. I thought nga na it was you somehow, but that's impossible." aniya at tumawa nang mahina.
Hindi na ako kumibo. Siya ay naging abala na rin sa cellphone niya. After a few minutes ay may tumawag na sa kanya. The food arrived.
"Adriana, that girl in your dream, are you bothered that it was a girl?" tanong ko habang kumakain kami.
"Not really. I actually find her so comforting, the songs she sings. Pero, sumasakit kasi ang ulo ko whenever I try to dig a memory of her. Baka nga bestfriend ko siya. I asked them about her, my family. Wala silang sinasabi sa akin. I don't know."
It was me. At wala talaga silang sasabihin because they blame me for it.
"I dream about her a lot these past few nights at nagigising ako lagi ng ganitong oras."
"What if she's someone who hurt you?" tanong ko.
"I don't know. But, if I hated her for it, bakit sobrang komportable ako sa kanya? Para ngang I wanna sleep nalang so I could hear her voice and rest. I really have no idea yet." aniya.
"But at least, may ganung nangyayari na. Therapy is working na siguro, 'no?"
"Yes. I hope to remember everything soon. Sana."
Kapag naka-alala na siya, she'll hate me for sure.
Nahiga kami ulit pagkatapos kumain. Siya naman ay pumikit lang at nagbalot ng kumot. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin. Andaming nasa utak ko ngayon.
"Eli." she called. Humarap ako sa kanya.
"Yes?"
"Can you do it again? Play with my hair if it's okay. My head hurts." aniya sa antok na boses. Antukin talaga.
"Sure thing. Close your eyes."
Hindi nagtagal ay nakatulog na rin siya. I hummed her a song. Hindi niya naman din maririnig. I didn't sleep at all. Not even a blink. Mabuti nalang ay isang exam lang ang meron kami ngayong araw.
Nakapag-isip na ako kanina. I think it's better kung iiwasan ko na siya. Malalaman niya rin soon na ako ang dahilan ng lahat. It'll break her heart twice kapag dumating na sa ganung punto. I don't want her to think na kinuha ko ang loob niya for my own selfish reasons.
That morning, sabay kaming pumasok. We took the same test at parehong maganda ang markang nakuha namin. But, it ends there. Pagkatapos ng exam ay dumiretso ako ng canteen para kumain. Hindi ko na siya hinintay. But after a couple of minutes, nakita niya ako. Inilapag niya ang plato sa sa lamesa kung saan ako nakaupo.
