𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘴

𝙘𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙤𝙨

written by dysfunctionalcrab on tumblr

"heyyyyy, what's up chat!" you suddenly heard him yell. he finally went live. "how's it going?" he asked, chat started spamming all sorts of different answers.

seeing as everybody really enjoyed the last cooking stream where he made a pizza and failed. he decided to do another one, but with you, his beautiful s/o as a special guest.

for a good 5 minutes, alex read out the donations, answering their questions and thanking people for the gifted subs, you were in the other corner of the kitchen, washing your hands and putting on your apron.

"today," he said. "we will be making burgers, burgers, so good, that mcdonald's will start knocking on our door, and so tasty, that burger king will beg us stop making them" he joked. you shook your head at your boyfriends silliness and enthusiasm

"and today, chat, i have mi amor with me," he pulled you into the view of the camera. you gave a small smile and sheepishly waved at the camera. chat started blowing up even more. it wasn't often that alex brought you into his streams, because as much as he loved you, he knew people were going to be judgemental and people that were going to hate for no reason. he just wanted to protect you.

"we are professional chefs," he stated. "you saw my masterpiece of a pizza and now we are going to make the best burgers in existance,"

"the pizza was disgusting," you interrupted

"shut the fuck up [y/n],"

-

"here we have our mince meat," he slapped his hand on it. "our burger patty seasoning, and the beautiful lettuce and tomato and other fillings, and lastly, our burger buns" he waved his hand in front of them, adorning them and showing them to chat

"if you're white, then let me take a second to explain to you what seasoning is," he said

"alex!" you scolded, causing chuckle to erupt from him.

he started presenting all the different spices. salt, pepper, paprika, onion power and so on. you decided to just unwrap the mince meat and start off the patties

"and look at these burger buns chat," he held up the circular bread. "so soft and squishy,"

you giggled, obviously recognising the dirty joke he was insinuating. but then he started to get a little distracted, so you had to pull him back him to remember the real purpose of this stream.

"babe, i agreed to be in this stream if we were actually planning on making burgers," you told him. he looked at you, offended

"i am,"

"you've been making jokes about the burger buns for 2 minutes,"

"i'll let you know that i could make these burgers all by myself," he smirked at you.

you put your hands on your hips and nodded sarcastically. "oh okay, gordon ramsay, then how about you actually start seasoning the damn meat, show me how it's done," you passed the board of mince to him.

"with pleasure," he answered, you eyed him carefully as he sprinkled the mix of different powders. rolling it and kneading in the flavour. you were feeling pretty hungry and you were in the mood for some burgers. so you really wanted this to go well.

unluckily, when he came to sprinkling the pepper, the lid slipped off, causing all of the pepper to fall out on top of the meat.

"alex!" you slammed a hand to your forehead. "what the hell?"

"that wasn't fucking me!"

"you were having a party with the spices a while ago, did you unloosen the lid?"

"no!" he replied defensively

you crossed your arms and shot him a playfully angry look.

he scrunched his nose. "okay, maybe i accidently did,"

you couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"you little shit," you giggled. "let's just brush it all off,"

-

as you two collected all the excess pepper, and double checked that all the lids were properly tightened and sealed. you felt a tingling sensation in your face. before even coming to acknowledge it though, you sneezed. all over food.

alex looked at you in dissapointment

"babe," he hid his face in hands. "are you fucking serious?"

you were a little mad at yourself but you couldn't help it. pepper always made you sneeze. "i'm sorry," you said in a genuine tone, but a smile did creep up on your face.

chat was having a great time, they were probably clipping every single bit of this stream

"throw those covid-infested patties away and start over" you read out from a donation. what other choice did you have?

thank god you didn't use all of the meat in the beginning. so you were able to start over and get it a right a second time

-

"okay, chat! second time lucky!" alex shouted. you had now turned on the pan and buttered it, ready to actually start cooking the burger.

in your first attempt to cook the burger. the outside was rock hard, it was definitely burnt.

"still edible," alex claimed. and casually took a giant chunk out of it, revealing the uncooked inside. he spat it out.

"not edible,"

-

your second attempt went well, it appeared beautifully brown on the outside and when you slightly cut it open to check the inside, you were presented with a gorgeously cooked patty.

"let's go chat! we did it!" alex celebrated. he added the burger bun along with the chosen fillings, before taking a bite out it.

"mmm," he exaggerated. "this is so fucking good," he kissed your cheek. "try it," he passed it to you and it was surprisingly pretty delicious.

"that's really nice," you admitted

although, as you two were enjoying your creation and started rolling your second burger into its shape. chat seemed to start going at an absurd speed of a thousand miles per hour.

user: FIIIIRRREEEE

user: THE TEA TOWEL GUYS ITS ON FIRE

user: YOU IDIOTS LOOK BEHIND YOU

alex was completely oblivious, but you caught on. you turned around and sure enough, a blue tea towel which one of you idiotically left on the stove had caught on fire. half of the towel was already black and almost burnt to crisp in a giant flame that chat could see rising from behind you.

"oh my god!" you screamed. alex turned around, panicking.

"what the fuck!" he yelled. alex grabbed the fabric by the only unburnt part of the towel and threw it into the sink. "turn on the water!"

you did as told and switched on the tap, water started to run and the fire was quickly out.

you took a minute to process what just happened.

"chat just saved our lives, thanks chat!" you laughed. catching your breath after that moment of pure fear.

alex cleared his throat. "i'm actually so goddamn hungry right now," he said. "this has been very fun, you guys. but i think that was a sign from the lord that it's time to end the stream," he said

"thank you all for hanging out today, we're gonna continue making these burgers off stream but soon you'll see me on karl's jack-box stream, so be sure to join that later on in the day!"

he read out a couple more donations and then at last, ended the stream. you two just stared at each other, a silence filling the room.

"well," he started. "that went well,"

"shut the fuck up, alex"