One Last Time

Chapter XIX

Zayd

I haven't seen Tris on the balcony in two weeks. What I noticed is thats where she goes to write and calm herself. Now, it's like she doesn't even exist. Like she isn't there. I need to talk to her. I sigh and go towards her apartment. Unable to stop my feet from moving. 'don't do this. you're getting married in four days.'

That doesn't stop me. Next thing I know, I'm knocking on her door. Sky answers the door. "Uh hi? What are you doing here?" I take in a deep breath. "Is Tris home?" Sky nods. "Yeah but she hasn't left her bedroom in two weeks. She stopped eating too. I think she's just been sleeping. However, feel free to talk to her because she hasn't even looked at me." He sighed. "Fuck alright. Wheres her room?" She points to it.

I open the door gently to see her. Lying there. There are bags under her eyes and she hasn't changed her clothing. He could tell because the last time anyone saw her outside, she was in those same clothes. Did he cause this? I didn't mean too. Really, he just genuinely wanted to see her. He didn't even know they would be neighbors and now, here she is. Depressed. Lack of sleep. Hasn't ate anything in days. He caused this.

A knife stabbed and twisted his arms. She looked...dead. Then she blinked, thank god. I sat on the edge of the bed and held her close to me. She would have started crying. The tears unable to stop and finally after weeks, some form of emotion. I can't believe this. Why hd I hurt the only person who has ever understood me? It's like someone was stabbing him with guilt non-stop. I put my chin ontop of her head and soothed her hair in the back. I would let a few tears fall. I didn't mean to hurt her.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I did this to you." She would just hold onto his shirt and continue crying. She needed this more then she thought she did. I didn't realize how much pain this brought to her. I just- I have no more excuses for other then it feels like someone was ripping me limb by limb with insults. I knew it should have been her. It always should have been her. I lift her chin and look into her bright green eyes.

"I need you to be strong for me. I know I have no right to tell you what to do but believe me when I say, this hurts me just as much as this hurt you. I have no excuse and I genuinely didn't know you lived here and I am so, so sorry, Trix. I really am but, I'm not sorry for what I'm about to do." He said as he kissed her. Electricity moved throughout my body. I would let her tongue explore mine before lifting her into my lap.

After that kiss, she just rested her forehead against mine. "I'm sorry. I haven't been to work but this, this is killing me. Why don't you see me? Why didn't you choose me?"

I sigh and look at her. I could tell she was hurting. "I didn't have a choice baby. Believe me when I say I will always choose you. I just have to do this. Just for a little longer. I need you to put any type of faith in me. Just for a little while. Hold out that hope that I know you never gave up on me." She would sigh. "But you gave up on me, Z."