Rowans Choice

Chapter Thirteen- Freedom hurts

I approach Andy's door with a pace matched only by the army as they ran into war, swords raised and fuelled by adrenaline. I throw out my hands, magic slamming against the door and throwing it open.

The guards behind me all duck out of the way as a flash of light fills the small space "leave us" I order them.

They move back up the hall hurriedly. Knowing that when I was in this mood, I couldn't be controlled or contained... nobody stood a chance.

Andy sits up on her bed, stunned, her doors splinter and fall to the ground in pieces. She looks to me wide eyed and unsure of what the hell was happening.

"What are you doing" she asks as I move quickly across the room and grab at her wrist.

"Get off of me" she argues as she tries to pull her wrist from my hands.

I hold her firmer, she looks into my eyes, the green of hers reflecting the blinding light of mine. "What is wrong with you" she asks.

The click of her bracelet falling down onto the sheets has her look away, noting the iron cuff I had cast aside.

"You're quite free" I tell her coldly, and I walk back to the door from where I had come.

"Wait" Andy calls as she jumps down from the bed and races to my side.

She takes my arm firmly and pulls me back through the threshold, forcing me to look upon her once again.

Her heart is racing against her chest, the loose material of her shirt clings tighter against her breast with every heaving breath.

"What do you mean I am free"

I avoid looking at her, a face I have longed to hold and kiss as long as I can even remember. I didn't want to be in her presence a second longer than I had to.

She takes my cheeks in both hands and forces me "look at me Rowan... why can't you look at me all of a sudden"

I reach up and curl my finger tips into the back of her hands, pulling her away forcefully and I take a step back.

"As far as your heart is concerned... I don't want it anymore. The independent life you so wish for...It's yours ... you're free to take a lover, free to do whatever it is you want. To Live an eternity separately... I gladly give you it... I release you from anything that isn't a formality"

I am stunned to find she doesn't look a bit relieved... not even little bit. I'm thrown for a second as we stand in the silence of my outburst. She looks like she might cry, her heart beat is wildly out of control... and in the silence all I can hear is mine... beating against my ears.

"You want me to take a lover now? To live separately...what happened to I am your mate and you wouldn't share me" she asks me, her voice cracking in part with emotion.

"Like I said... I don't want it anymore" I reply bitterly.

Her eyes fill with tears that fight for release, brimming against her eyelashes. I almost reach for her, not understanding why this was hurting her if she now hated me so much... but my own wounded heart retreats away from her.

"Take Luna and live a perfectly happy life. You are only required to see out this wedding, and then I want you to disappear... I will have a branch set aside for you both on the opposite side of the Oak. We never have to cross paths unless it's a royal engagement. We can be cordial for Olamoore, but after our wedding night ... I never want to have to touch you again"

She gasps, as if I had struck her. The tears release and fall, she frustratedly wiped them away maddened that she had shown any weakness before me.

"I'm crying with relief" she retorts through gritted teeth "that you finally got it through your head that I hate you"

I am numb to her now, and the way it should hurt me, it doesn't. I just wanted to get out of her damn room.

"We have some formalities the next three weeks. We have to make it look as if we choose each other as you take my hand ... and then we have to survive the consummation of our marriage... a night I'm sure we would both rather be blacked out for entirely. I can erase it from your memory after if you so desire"

"I'm not doing that" she argues.

"I suggest you close your eyes then, and think of Luna... because we don't have a choice in that regard. And before you say anything more I hope you know that I would rather be with anyone but you too. I tried to ask my father this morning if I could take it back... and not choose you. I wanted to beg him to let me marry Saiph or Castor. I would rather have one of your brothers magic touch every inch of me for an eternity then have you touch me one more time Andy..."

"Get out" she shouts, and she pushes against me, throwing me out into the hallway.

"Gladly" I shout back through the empty and broken doorway.

She throws herself down onto her bed, and I hesitate a moment, fighting an urge to go to her, before painfully ignoring the instinct. I take off down the hall, tears coming, my throat constricting with heartache...and I open and slam my door behind me. I fall down the back of it slowly, tears streaming, cries coming quickly as I realised what we had done to each other in that room. Andy and I had been playing a game of chicken for too long ... and as we careened toward the other in that moment, neither of us backed off... the result was the collision...and neither of us had escaped the mangled mess.

Freedom it seemed, hurt.