unidentified | billie eilish fanfiction

THIRTEEN: that i will

violet

i'm pushing her away when all i want is her. i'm not ready for a relationship, i don't want to commit to something that i know is going to ruin me and ruin her even more. it's not fair to her, and i'm not about to hurt her. so it's better of if we cut contact now, before she grows so fond of me, her heart doesn't deserve the ache.

"hi pumpkin!" i pet my new cat, it's a she. honestly thank god cause i was not about to raise a man in my house. "it's gonna be you and me, only us. we don't need someone else, do we?" i said in the voice that i'll never dare to let anyone hear, ever. only for pumpkin's ears.

"mama needs to go now, i'll be back soon." i kissed the top of her head and left the apartment. "afternoon" i walked past the front desk, my eyes glued onto my phone. i just got an invitation to a party tomorrow.

"have a great day violet." layla said. i stopped and turned around to speak to her.

"sorry, i didn't see you there." i leaned onto the desk. "how is life going with you." i like the fact that i see her every couple weeks twice or three times. i don't know... it's just better than seeing her face everyday, i guess.

"i found a new job, tomorrow is my last day." she smiled.

"oh yes then we have to celebrate!" my face instantly lit up. "i was just invited to a party tomorrow, you should come."

"oh no i don't want to be awkwardly there with all your friends and stuff." she shook her head.

"oh no, you're not gonna. i'm going myself, i just thought you might want to join me. come on we can go together." i shook my head.

"fine, what time should i be ready?" she gave in.

"8 be at my apartment, we'll go together." i winked and walked out of the building.

i spent the rest of the day at the studio doing my thing and when i realized it's was four am, i went back home and slept till five pm the next day. it's so nice not having a strict schedule holding you back. i started doing my skin care, my makeup and i wore a cute outfit. not five minutes later a knock was at my door and it was layla.

"you clean up pretty nice." i joked as i let her in.

"rude." she jokingly scoffed. "you really didn't change anything in here, did you?" she looked around the flat.

"why would i change a perfectly fine furshined apartment?" i shrugged and grabbed my phone. "come on, let's go. i'm ready."

"so who's party is it anyway?" she asked as we walked down the streets.

"i met a girl at work and she invited me to a party, then met her friend group and i guess one of them is now hosting this one. i loving partying so i thought why not?" i answered.

"didn't you just move here? how do you already have connections?" she frowned, baffled.

"honey, this is nothing. it's literally a bunch of morons trying to be popular, cool, lit or whatever." i shook my head. "you're gonna insult one of them, he gonna probably think you're flirting with him. when you tell him you're a lesbian, he's so horny, he's gonna want to see you make out with a girl."

"i wouldn't mind making out with you." she said. i said it, didn't i? she's interested and i'm not necessarily ruling it out.

"i wouldn't mind that too." i shrugged and continued walking,