All Too Well || Caswen

V. Treacherous

 Put your lips close to mine

As long as they don't touch

Out of focus, eye to eye

'Til the gravity's too much

Ricky was grateful for the chance to start over with EJ. Really, he was. Sure, it meant he was close enough to realize how often the boy gave his unconvincing fake smile (which no one ever seemed to pick up on), and that he had a frequent reminder of a time he'd tried so hard to bury in the past, but he truly did appreciate the fact that their feud was finally over.

It didn't matter that he got that fluttery feeling in his stomach when he looked at EJ—a feeling he'd only ever felt around one person—because they were friends, and barely even that. Nothing warranting a deep reflection on his completely stable heterosexuality, surely.

So when EJ invited him over to 'expand his musical horizons,' it wasn't a date. It wasn't. Just two dudes hanging out to watch musicals. That was a thing friends did. He'd had movie nights at Nini's plenty of times. As friends.

It was weird walking up to the Caswell house. It looked just the same as it had in middle school, down to the stone in the yard that probably still hid the spare key. EJ had assured him that neither of his parents would be home, so they didn't need to worry about dealing with that just yet.

He raised his hand to knock, hesitating for a moment as he remembered the last time he'd stood there, but shook off the thought and rapped his hand on the door a few times. It was silent for a few moments before EJ opened the door to let him in.

The inside of the house wasn't quite the same as Ricky remembered—a few of the pictures on the walls had been replaced with more recent ones, some of the furniture had been moved, and the tv in the living room was new.

"Alright, I've got a ton of musical movies, so what do you want to start with? Any particular ones you've heard of or a genre you like?"

Ricky shrugged. "I don't know. What's your favorite?"

EJ grinned. "That's a tricky one, but I'm gonna have to say The Sound of Music. It was the first musical I ever acted in. It's also slightly educational in the music department if you don't know your solfège."

"Sol-what now?"

"You know, every time I start to forget the fact that you have no formal choir or theater education, you go and ask what solfège is," he teased.

"Well, maybe if you decided to help me learn instead of being judgy, I might actually gain some knowledge on the subject."

EJ faked offense at the accusation. "What does it look like I'm doing?" He gestured to the tv, where he had pulled up The Sound of Music.

"Setting up a movie."

"I'm providing you with a very basic level of music education—which you clearly lack—through the medium of film," EJ corrected.

"Is that supposed to be helpful?"

"Do re mi. Just watch the movie and you'll learn something."

Ricky rolled his eyes but dropped the argument once EJ started the movie, which turned out to be quite enjoyable. It also managed to teach him the whole 'do re mi fa sol la ti do' thing (which EJ had referred to as 'solfège'), so that was a plus.

EJ seemed to be having the time of his life singing along with the movie and Ricky started to join in once he figured out the melodies. It was surprisingly easy to get along with EJ now that they didn't hate each other, even though he still found himself instinctively flinching away any time their hands brushed and once again shoving down the feeling that it caused.

Because EJ was straight.

And Ricky was straight.

And that fluttering in his stomach was not 'butterflies'.

When the movie ended, Ricky practically jumped off the couch to give them some distance.

EJ looked concerned. "You good?"

"Of course," Ricky brushed him off, hoping he sounded natural. "Just gotta... stretch my legs." He gave himself a mental pat on the back for his excuse.

"Want to go for a walk? That usually helps after sitting for a while."

Wait, no. Bad excuse. Abort mission! "Sure." What did he just get himself into?

The second they got out the door, Ricky shivered at the cold air. He was starting to regret not bringing a jacket.

"You know, we don't have to go if you don't want to."

A perfect out! "No, no. It's not a problem." He should really just stop talking.

"Alright, then."

The two started walking around the neighborhood in silence. Ricky must have been visibly shaking because EJ stopped him. "Here," he said, taking off his sweatshirt and handing it to Ricky, who couldn't stop the blood rushing to his cheeks.

"I'm really fine. It's not that cold." It was a blatant lie and he knew EJ would see right through it.

"Please, Ricky, you're shivering like crazy. Just take the hoodie."

"But, then you'll be cold." It was a useless argument and EJ only pushed the sweatshirt closer to Ricky. He reluctantly took it and pulled on. At least he wasn't cold anymore.

"So, are you excited for summer?"

Glad for a distraction from his thoughts, Ricky quickly answered, "Totally. It's crazy to think that the year's basically over, though."

"No kidding."

"You ready for graduation tomorrow?"

"Not really. I'm still struggling to process the fact that this is the end. I have no clue where I'm gonna go from here."

"Well, whatever you end up choosing, I'm sure you'll do amazing. You're EJ Caswell, after all. I don't think you're capable of really failing at something."

EJ shook his head. "You know firsthand how much I suck at dealing with people. I mean, I literally stole my girlfriend's phone, then proceeded to write a shitty pop song as an apology."

That was news to Ricky. The latter part, at least. "You wrote a song?"

"I don't have many regrets—actually, that's not true, I have so many regrets—but that is up there on the list."

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad."

"It was. Ashlyn basically said it to my face."

Ricky laughed at that, finding it difficult to imagine Ashlyn telling someone they wrote something bad. He would have to ask her about it sometime.

They made it back to the house a few minutes later, and Ricky figured it was probably time for him to head home. There was no way he was mentally prepared to stay there any longer. "I should probably get home before my dad starts to worry."

"I'll see you tomorrow?" EJ looked unsure, like he didn't actually expect Ricky to come.

"As if I would miss your graduation. Besides, I heard Carlos is hosting a karaoke night to celebrate the end of school, so you'll have to skip out on that if you don't want to see me."

"I would never."

Ricky smiled. "Then I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

It wasn't until he was halfway home that he realized he was still wearing EJ's hoody. He contemplated whether or not he should turn back now to return it, but it couldn't hurt to keep it for one night, right?