Always you

One

Okay so this is the first chapter I really hope you will like it because I really do((((:
Okay so ! Tw ! : anxiety attack, talk about abuse.
Please try to stage safe <3

Word count : 2185

He was staring at a blank piece of paper while sitting on the bathroom floor in is own apartment. Not a single letter written on it.
His hands where shaking and his vision was in danger of fading into black. Everything was to loud but also way to quiet at the same time. The air felt like it was thinning. Every breath he took hurt, it was like there's nothing left for him to actually breath in on.
Nothing felt right but he didn't know how to fix it. Why can't he fix it? Why is nothing working? It usually does. Well most of the time. But why not now?

"C'mon Tyler. I'm not kidding, open this fucking door man." Michael's voice snapped him back into reality. His heart rate was still higher than the Empire State Building and he was trembling all over be the oh so familiar voice of his best friend was now filling his head instead of his own.
He knew he should open the door and let his best friend help him. But he couldn't. Not for now at least.

After a few more seconds of Michael knocking on the bathroom door and Tyler frantically trying to calm himself , he opened it.
"Jeez, what the fuck man I was just on the toilet." Tyler said wanting to sound casual but not really succeeding. "Must've been pretty urgent. The way you ran off. I don't know it just seemed like something was wrong." Michael said putting his hands up in defense while his face was marked with a worried expression.
"Nah, I'm fine don't worry dude." Tyler's voice was still shaky but not as much as before.
"Okay then." Michale sighed, patting Tyler's shoulder.

They both made their way back into Tyler's bedroom where all the others where still sitting on the floor.
All his friends came around because it was Tyler's first night in his new and also first apartment.

It still felt weird to even think about it. To think about how he was finally able to move out after turning 18 just a few months ago.
So because of that his best friends, Michael, Jorden and mark, whom he loved so much, came over to celebrate with him and his victory of finally escaping the hell hole he called home for 18 years.

They where all sat on the floor around a coffee table because that was basically the only furniture in the apartment besides his bed.
On the coffee table was beer and some harder liquor ,Tyler took from his dad the day before he moved out, as well as one pack of cigarette's he got himself.

After he and Michael sat back down it was quiet for a moment. Tyler didn't really notice because he was lost inside his own head like he always had been in the last few weeks.
He was looking at his lap where his hands where gripping his thighs to prevent them from trembling.
Everyone seemed to notice the silence...except Tyler who was too focused on his hands and his own thoughts.

"You good bro?" Jorden asked finally catching Tyler's attention. "Uh, yeah-I yeah no I'm fine." Tyler answered without taking his eyes of his hands.
He was trying to remember what they were talking about before he went to the bathroom, but he couldn't.
"So how does it feel like to finally be free huh ?" Michael asked while giving Tyler a light shove. "It feels great I guess." Tyler said, his voice quiet. "Where's the enthusiasm man? You are a free fucking man no parents watching over every step you do!" Jorden said overly dramatic.

Tyler was free yes and he was glad that he had decided to move out already but he was alone now. Yeah sure there was no one there to scream at him to make him feel more miserable than he already did himself but he was alone. Complete alone.

He looked up at Jorden and forced a smile. "Yeah, you're right I am pretty happy to finally be free. I mean it is pretty fucking amazing man!" Tyler now said sounding a bit more like himself. At least he tried to.