Author's note: Suicidal thoughts are referenced and only explicitly got into "detail" once, what I mean by that is that the character said the window looked awfully appealing to put it simply. Censored swears as well! By the way this character lives in Arizona. Needed to look up a stupid map for cities in sh*t. Yeah fun. Maybe I should learn every city in every state? You know a bit of geography? Anyway enjoy annngggssst. Don't worry it isn't that bad.
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When I got back home I felt numb. Not fully numb a tinge of sadness still survived the rain storm that was my tears. I cried and was still crying just sort of didn't pay attention to it. I let the salty water droplets fall from my eyes to the side of my head. I was in my small bedroom laying on my twin sized mattress.
A breakup? And now this? I literally just recovered from a f*cking MONTHS LONG DEPRESSION AND YOU'RE GIVING ME THIS? The whole f*cking world was falling apart at my fingertips. I got up lazily and glared at the wet street. Politics. Never been a fan. Especially when it came to those idiot conservatives my parents always tell me about.
I may not be a fan, but really? Banning simple human rights for simple humans? Banning abortions? THOSE A$*HOLES! Now I am sad and f*cking livid. Great.
I go on and on and on rambling in my head and cursing myself out, when a message saves me from heading out the window. From Melissa, my best friend and one of two close friends. The only people I feel really get me.
Start of messages:
I am so sorry about your loss
want to talk about it? One sad b*tch to another?
8:10 am
Kinda, but you don't need to hear about my problems. I can handle them.
8:10 am
No that wasn't a question it was a demand. Spill the teaaa.
8:11 am
Are we calling my problems tea now?
If so, then I ain't spilling any. You already know the stuff I want you to know. Not the repressed memories and the everyday depression.
8:11 am
Please I can handle it, you need to tell someone. And get a therapist!
8:12 am
I will eventually when I ain't broke and if makes you feel better I probably won't discuss much either.
8:12 am
that's not good for you. Tell me or next time I see you I will pour cherry tomato juice on you.
8:12 am
I audibly gagged at that, how dare you threaten such horrible things?
Fine I'll tell you.
8:13 am
End of messages.
After an hour long conversation about our lives (mostly Melissa's because I didn't want to say much) on a call we said bye finally. Not after me saying that if she ever purposefully poured cherry tomato juice on me she'll lose her eye privileges and find out I took her kneecaps as well, though. That cheered me up and distracted me from the lingering suicidal thoughts while it lasted.
It was nice being able to smile and laugh a bit.
It's been so long since I had not paid attention to those lingering thoughts. Strange it happened then, though. Still fricking grateful it did, but strange nonetheless.
You know what? I might go on a trip, alone. It might be nice getting my mind off of things. I know I said I was broke, but I am not actually. I can pay my bills just fine and am not starving. I said it as a joke because jeez can therapy be expensive. Anyway it sounds like a good idea, but where?
Flag, or Page. That's what my mind narrowed down to. First explore Scottsdale, and Phoenix of course. Scottsdale always peaked my interest for no reason to be honest. That was where my orthodontist was when I had braces, maybe that's why? Eh hate the feeling of brackets on my teeth. Glad they're gone.
Flag definitely Flag. Snow. Haven't seen that stuff in ages, in plus Ray my sibling lives there I could say hi. I start on packing.
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Author's Other Notes: Mmmmm cities. By the way I still have the stupid map up in my tabs. Might just download it and put it as the image for this chapter. Actually I will. Why not? Maybe instead put a picture of an oven because that could make sense as well.
By the way cherry tomatoes are the worst.
Anyway
Bye bye!
YOU ARE READING
Feel Better
RandomContains Swearing (censored but still) and mention of death! I will be making this as a pick me up because life can be a little sh*t sometimes and most of the time (for me at least) So enjoy this mess. Cover by me if you were wondering for whatever...
