Blood On My Fingertips

Chapter 20

You're a fighter. Look at everything you've overcome. Don't give up now.

                                                                                -Olivia Benson

I never wanted to open my eyes again; never wanted to feel again; never wanted to live again. Unfortunately, the One above had more plans for me because pain hit me suddenly in every part of my body. I felt something sticky on my hands, so I opened my eyes; it was blood. I was lying on the floor; the chair was a little way from me next to some cut rope. I didn't want to get up, so I didn't. I paid no heed to the blood on my hands or the pus covering my face from the blister. My face tingled, burned, and hurt like it was pressed into a large bed of fire ants.

I used to love the silence because in it, I could be myself. There was no one to hurt me, and no one to touch me. It had just been me, my books, and dreams. Now, all I had left, were the screams of my demons and the wails from my monsters. They wouldn't stop their screaming; the ring in my ears had grown louder as they continued to taunt me: They dared me to unleash my monster. Do it, Adaline. Do it! A scream ripped from my lungs as I felt something surge through my body, almost like an electrical current. A sudden strength possessed me as I jumped from the ground and sprung into the air. With a sharp gasp, I crumpled back to the ground breathing hard; my heart thumped uncontrollably. The figures in my head laughed like mad men as they danced around and sang songs in strange languages. Their voices changed suddenly into English as they shouted for me to get up. I stood; my legs wobbled beneath me from inactivity and the amount of sitting and abuse I had endured those past few days. I walked slowly and painfully over to the locked door. Somehow, with the touch of my hand, the knob melted. The door swung open. I snatched my hand away. A weight settled in my stomach as I stared at the open door. I am not possessed; these figures have just been dreams, but what was this? Part of the curse?

I was so full of pain that a part of me hadn't wanted to step out of that room; I wanted it to be my grave. Who knew what lay in the dark? Fear tried to keep me from freedom, but I wouldn't let it. I took a step outside the room; humid air smacked my face like a wall. "Leave, leave!" the voices screamed and urged me to run. I stepped further out of the room and was met with pitch-black darkness. My foot stepped onto a hard surface, my other foot soon followed, and I moved briskly down-what seemed to be- a long hallway. The crazy voices within my head led me through the stifling darkness. Why did I trust those beings? Did I have another option? No, I had nothing if I didn't succumb to their screams. Goodbye.

The hallway seemed like it would never end; my feet were heavy, and every step felt like a millstone was tied around my ankles. "Hurry! Hurry!" they screamed: As if I did not try. What I would have given for something to drink. Maybe, I was better off in that God-forsaken room; at least I was fed every now and then. My whole body smacked against a hard surface, and I felt blood trickle from my nose. My hand felt around and soon I found a knob; my touch melted it just as it had before when I ran away from May's house. The door crashed forward and down onto soft earth as if I had melted its very hinges. My eyes, that had now grown accustomed to the darkness, were met with a blinding light. It took a good minute for my eyes to adjust then blurry images surrounded me as my stomach twisted with fear. I gazed hazily into the unknown. Trees began popping into view as did grass. I was surprised to see a bright blue sky; I had lost track of time, but it seemed night was the only thing left for me. I guess the world goes on. I wanted to sink to the cool grass at my feet and weep, but the voices in my head hurried me, "Move! Move!" My feet began to move in no certain direction. I caught a glimpse of my hands. The tips of them were blue, not just any blue, a glowing blue - like lightening. It soon faded and left my hands cold and stained with my sticky blood. Was this a dream?