Lavender Pain!!
This happens in the early days of LP, I have it written out on a google doc but haven't actually written anything, so by using your inference skills, I'm sure you can figure out if Remus actually believes Logan or not. Tbh it's up for interpretation, that's litteraly the point of writing LOL.————
Remus hated to think about the way his stomach churned when Logan so violently flinched when Remus went to run a hand through his own hair.
The way Logan's eyes immediately squeezed shut, curling into himself and jumping back all in too quick of a second.
Remus wanted to vomit thinking about the way Logan was too quick to brush it off, like it had happened before, like he was used to it!
Remus was sure he'd be sick when he tried bringing it up to Logan later on, the other seeming to freeze before carrying on like normal, assuring Remus is was nothing to worry about, that he was too pre occupied thinking about all the work he had to do, too stuck in his head to realize Remus had moved, snapping him out of it, hence the flinching.
And Remus wanted to believe it. Logan was always so good with words it was almsot hard not to believe him, but when the pool of dread only filled in Remus' stomach upon hearing Logan's explanation, he knew there was something more to this.
Remus didn't know what, but God's was he gonna prove it.
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"Hey Logan? You're not busy, are you?" Remus knocked on Logan's door frame, anxiety already pooling in his stomach as he waited for Logan's answer.
"I believe I have five minutes or so. What is it you need?" Logan placed his pen down next to the planner he was writing in, turning in his chair to face his boyfriend.
"Oh, cool." Remus slowly walked into Logan's room, looking around for not anything in particular. Maybe something that would convince him Logan was actually fine and not in grave danger?
"Remus, is there something bothering you?" Logan stood from his chair, walking over to the other who gave his best attempt at a not so convincing smile.
"Yeah! No yeah, there was just something I needed to ask you, uh." Remus nervously ran a hand through his hair, "I had this all planned out, you know." Remus gave a nervous laugh, Logan now more concerned than anything.
"Remus, just tell me. I assure you, I'll give no negative judgement whatsoever." Logan grabbed Remus' hand, rubbing a thumb over his knuckles, Remus taking a deep breath before speaking.
"It's about the other day." Remus felt the way Logan's thumb stopped moving for a second, before hesitantly continuing.
"Remus, I told you. I was stuck in my head and you just so happened to scare me out of it. There's really nothing more to it." Logan seemed slightly more fidgety now, fixing his glasses a few too many times in the same sentence.
"But it just- it doesn't sit right with me! I mean, it looked real! And not just in a normal way, in a worrying way!" Remus voice was raising as he spoke, reminding himself to keep steady.
"Remus, I can-"
"Plus! Now that I think of it, that isn't the first time something like this has happened! Like last week when I came up behind you to give you a hug, I felt you're body literally jump before you realized it was me! Even me sitting beside you on the couch while you're reading scares you!" Remus could feel tears pooling in his eyes, "You never used to be like this, ever! Something's different in you now, Logan, and I'm so worried. I just wanna know what's happening, I swear."
Logan stayed silent for awhile, almost like he was trying to find the correct answer to this far too layered question.
"I've been having...nightmares, of sorts, you could say. Ranging from things as simple as being chased to more extreme things, like the one I had last night. I had an outburst, and while I don't remember much, all I knew I was feeling was this achingly deep sence of rage." Logan took a deep breath, "after waking up from them, I've felt disconnected, fuzzy, stuck in my head, hence the excessive flinching due to a lack of me being aware of my surroundings."
Remus felt his eyes slowly travel to the ground, all of a sudden feeling like the biggest idiot on the room, embarrassment creeping up his spine to laugh in his ears, to mock his false suspicions.
"That... that explains alot, I guess." Remus chewed his lip, inspecting his nail beds, "I was wrong. Sorry for causing all that fuss for nothing." Before Remus felt like he was going to burst into tears, arms wrapped around him, letting the repressed tears fall.
"Don't be. You had every right to be worried. I should've told you right from the start, and for that, I'm sorry." They stayed in eachothers arms for a while, Logan again shrinking back inside his head.
It wasn't exactly a lie, the being stuck in his head part at least. A lie of ommison as one would say.
While a part of Logan was happy to have avoided that close shave, most of him was screaming out to Remus, for him to look just slightly passed the sad excuse of a lie, to realize he was right! Something is wrong with his boyfriend!
But he wouldn't. He saw the way Remus listened, how he hung of every word Logan fibbed, how he crumbled at realizing he was 'wrong'.
If there was a part of Remus that was still adamant something worse was going on, Logan just prayed Remus wouldn't have to get involved. How Logan would never forgive himself for something like that.
Virgil was his mess to deal with, and it had to stay that way, no matter what happened.
Besides, Logan knew he was the only one who could truly handle it.
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