Playboi's Bunny

13. Zayne

December 23, 2021

I ain't got no more tears to cry.

It don't matter how much weed I smoke, likka I drank, nuts I bust or how much dope I fuck with, I'm still empty on the inside.

Iono what time it is but it's dark outside and the stars is bright as hell, drawin' my attention to the sky. I feel sick as fuck, cross faded and all I wanna do is sleep it off but I can't.

I'm so fuckin' exhausted.

Runnin' from ghosts will do that to you. But it hurts too much to deal with everything.

This last month has been the longest month of my life and still, I just wanna go back four years ago, before, when everything was perfect.

When Rozay was ridin' my ass about movin' in, Ari was happy and in love wimme and the most I had to complain about was my whack ass job. I'd do anything to go back to that.

I close my eyes and lean against the balcony, then stare down at all the cars passin' by in a rush to get to their destinations.

A tear rolls down my cheek.

"I should just jump."

"Now bitch, you know you better not do shit you can't take back. You already took out the realest bitch on yo team."

My heart skips a couple beats, makin' me take a step back and look at the hallucination standin' in the corner.

I rub my eyes and open 'em again.

"Yeah bitch, I'm still here. You ain't goin' crazy." Lori says, soundin' annoyed wimme.

"Lori?" I rub my eyes again, this time harder.

When I open them and see her short, curvy figure walkin' towards me, I stumble back and grab the rail.

"I should be pissed the fuck off atchu, shootin' me when I wasn't lookin'. But fuck allat, you already got a new bitch to fuck with?!"

"Lori...I-" I don't know what to say to a ghost.

"I was supposed to be yo bitch, Zayne. Me! Not nobody else, ME!"

Iono what to say.

Lori was my bitch, my main, my best friend, damn near my everything. But I never saw her more than my home girl. Yeah, we fucked around a couple times, but...

"I always loved you. I always thought it would be me and you 'til the end. Go head and jump. End everything here and come to hell where you belong with me."  

"I know I was wrong, Lori. Swear to God, I wish I could take it back, dawg. I just...I ain't know who I could trust."

"I been ridin' for you since we was freshman. I ALWAYS had your back, thru whatever. I was supposed to be yo bitch but you crossed me. And I hope this new bitch do you just how you did me. Dirty as fuck."

"Lori." I call out with tears in my eyes.

She disappears right before my eyes so I squeeze 'em tight real quick and then open 'em a few seconds later.

That don't make her come back though.

My stomach turns as her words replay in my head. I know I was wrong as fuck.

Fuck, I know I was. And if I could do or give anything to bring my best friend back, I would.

Without Lori, I ain't got nobody that really knows me and everything I been through. I'm sick as fuck with regret and all I can do is eat that shit.