SCARRED

5. I BLAME ITUMELENG.

LWAZI

"You've been starring at that picture for too long." Nkosi comments glancing at me as he drives us home.

"I can't help it." I smile, not once removing my eyes from my phone.

"Who is she?"

I'm not sure if I can be honest with him, but then again it's not like there's anything going on between Onalerona and I except for the therapy sessions.

"She's my therapist." I say and wait for it... And boy does he make me wait.

He cracks up "Your therapist? Ngempela [Really] Lwazi?"

"What now?"

"You've got your eye on therapist?" he says then shakes his head, I can't be too sure where he stands with this. Not that I need my brother's approval to ask a woman out but he's still my brother and I'd like for this not to get awkward.

"I never said that."

"Okay then let me ask, do you have your eye on your therapist?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Come on Lwazi, we both know you're not a maybe kind of guy. You're a yes or no, you've always been so which is it?"

"I do like her..."

"But..."

"I don't know, Maybe if she didn't know all the issues I come with."

"And the fact that she might get fired if she's ever caught having any kind of romantic relationship with a patient." he says and it's an immediate rude awakening. Trust the big brother to say it like it is.

If I pursue this, Onalerona might even get her license revoked. For as long as I'm her patient, Should we get together and it ever comes out then she will be the one on the firing line, it will be seen as her taking advantage of a patient and that's grounds for a dismissal, they will tear her apart and start looking at all her files, every single patient she's ever encountered, she will be put under a microscope and she will be scrutinized and it will destroy her career and possibly her life.

Why am I even thinking about this? I wasn't planning on asking her out in the first place... Was I?

"You just had to go for the facts." I mumble.

"I'm just putting it out there, I know at the end of the day you'll do what you want. You're a grown man and I trust that you stand to see through whatever you start."

"I do, And I just like her... That's all. "

"You know, for a man of law, you sure do like breaking the rules."

"Haibo, what do you mean now?" I can't help but laugh, I know I've had my fair share of trouble in the past and he's about to pick one.

"The one time you hit on your Math tutor?"

"Come on, that never went far?"

"Huh? That's not how I remember it."

"Okay okay, but I never slept with her. That should count for something."

"Only because ubaba beat the shit out of you after he caught the two of you making out on his couch."

I laugh at the memory, man I still remember that beating. I remember the shock on our mother's face too when she found me on top of Nombuso. That was one eventful afternoon and my brothers made sure I didn't forget it for the longest time.

Maybe I do have a thing for playing dangerously against the line. Could it be that I have a thing for going for things that I know aren't really allowed or condoned. My tutor, Amelia... Not that either of us would get fired but it would bring unnecessary attention is anyone ever found out about our little arrangement and now, Onalerona, hers is the riskiest of them all, the most dangerous.