SCARRED

4. BIG O PROBLEM.

ONALERONA

"Happy birthday!!!"

I jump on Itumeleng's bed, instantly waking her up and she matches my excited mood by kicking off the sheets and playing birthday song by 2 Chainz on her phone then she starts twerking on the bed while singing.

"When I die, bury me inside a Gucci store, when I die, bury me inside a Louis store. All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe" we both sing while she twerks on me and I make it rain R100 notes on her.

When the song ends, we throw ourselves on the bed, breathing hard and laughing while feeling so hot and out of breath.

"Trust you to sing about dying on your birthday."I nudge her.

"Don't be trying to act all innocent, miss. You were singing along."

"It's not my birthday."

"Oksalayo!" she rolls her eyes while saying the only Zulu phrase that she knows and always throws around.

Once she's calm, she sits up and starts the notes and they amount to R2000. Itumeleng is a hard person to please, I figured I'd save myself the stress and headache of looking for a gift and give her money instead, plus I know she prefers money more than anything else.

"Thank you, sis." she lays back on the bed and hugs me.

"You're welcome, here's to another year of your crazy ass."

"And many more!"

"And many more."I repeat after her.

" This is a bittersweet day. "she sighs.

" Yeah, she would have been fifty today. "

" And we would be having this huge celebration for her, it hurts to celebrate this day. "

" I know nana, I know. "I wipe my stray tear and we hug on the bed.

There's not a day where I don't miss my mother, where I don't miss both my parents and little brother and although I've accepted their passing as part of my healing journey. On days like this, the pain hits hard. It stabs repeatedly through my soul and I know it's hard on Itumeleng too, knowing she would be celebrating this day with her aunt, but we soldier on, life has to continue at some point.

"No sad talk today. Besides, wherever your aunt is, best believe she's throwing the mother of all parties." I cheer her up even though I'm hurting, I don't want this day to end up being spoiled, Tumi deserves to be happy without having this hang over our heads.

" I don't doubt that, you know she was the life of the party. " she smiles.

" I think you took after her, you're the life of the party now."

"And you took after mama, you're both so calm and churchy. "

"Churchy?"

"Yes, churchy, good girl vibes, the ones likely to end up in heaven while the rest of us are roasted by satan in his big oven with his big fork."

I laugh at her description of hell, growing up, my aunt used that very same description to scare us from doing wrong. Imagine being a child and being told that if you lie and steal then the devil will punish you by roasting you alive, the thought alone was enough to get us in line.

"Whatever, birthday girl. Let me go get started with breakfast then we can officially start this celebration." As I start getting off the bed her phone rings, she looks at it then motions for me to stop then she puts the phone on loudspeaker and in comes the traditional rendition of" Happy birthday "