Long road to go

10 years ago

Stephanie

I am sitting at a table by the window waiting. Outside, I look at everyone passing by and hope he would be here soon. I hear the message tone on my phone ring and read the message from my friend Lissa, "Is he there yet?" I sigh as I stare at the empty chair across from me. "No," I reply as I look at the hour on my watch, 6 p.m. For an hour and a half, I've been waiting here for Hunter.

Hunter Roe is my high school crush, whom I finally approached and asked out after much hesitation. He is a handsome boy. Not the brightest or smartest boy in the school. Though, my heart skipped immediately when he approached me on the first day of my senior year of school. He was the only boy who noticed me and gave me his first look. For months after, we were inseparable. We sat together in the library after school, reading or laughing at a movie we had seen together. Finally, one day, I dared to ask him out.

To which he answered "yes" and now time ticks on with still no Hunter in sight. When again an hour had passed and still no Hunter in sight. I decide to leave after placing a five-dollar bill on the table. Tears escape my eyes as I step toward my home.

I arrive at the front door, where I can already hear the first signs of arguing. I almost feel the urge to walk away from the house and never come back. My relationship with my parents has always been difficult. Just like all those stupid rules that prevented me from being a teenager.

What teenager these days don't even wear makeup? Not to mention the clothes mother bought for me to put on. I feel like I'm from the '80s. Even the thick, big glasses, must still be from that era somewhere.

Inside, I step directly into my bedroom, which is as old-fashioned as my parents themselves. My phone which, like everything here, is from the past goes off with a loud ring. "Hello Lissa," I say as I pick up and hear Lissa rattling on the other end of the phone.

"Did he really stand you up? What are you going to do about it?" she asks me as she continues swearing at Hunter. "Nothing, what can I do about it," I say sarcastically with the pain I feel audible in my voice. "Leave him, girl. He's not worth it." I listen to the sweet words she speaks to me. Although the pain of rejection still flows through my body, with the accompanying tears.

My father and mother start that moment by yelling at each other about things that aren't important, as always. Father has had too much to drink again, causing my mother to freak out every day. The arguments always start with words then swearing and if it gets out of hand then throwing stuff at each other. What makes me want to lock myself in my room, with a book in my hand and my mind in a completely different place?

Then, when I get to school the next day, I try to avoid Hunter. I know almost all of his class schedules, which fortunately differ greatly from mine, so we hardly ever run into each other. Not that he would apologize or even notice me anymore. He has changed so much, a few days ago, when he became friends with some boy from the soccer team. This morning, even he looked at me, so distant. He only thinks about his reputation and has completely forgotten about me.

Every day at school, I am more and more confronted with his new behavior. A completely different Hunter Roe than the one I fell in love with the first day of school. The next day my heart was really broken. After I overheard him in the hallway talking to some friends about me.

"Did you go out with that freak?" Asked a boy to him, to which he laughed. "No way did you see what she looks like," he replied while laughing with the boys about me. Tears stream from my eyes with the words about how he thinks about me. I couldn't be here anymore. Not even be in the school.

For the first time, I fled from school and walk to a park a little further from the school, where I hide with my book in hand. The book I take to school every day to read in my between hours. When it starts to get darker, I get up and go to my home.

The home where my parents were once again arguing. But this time not about their problems, no. They were arguing about me playing truant, and one of my teachers had called them. That's what you get when you're so invested in school and your teachers. Which was a big mistake, I get it now.

Dad and Mom heard me inside, coming down the hallway and immediately coming at me. I wanted to escape, but I was too late to get to my room in time. There was no escape from them now.

"How dare you play hooky! You know you have to get your grades up, or they'll take away your scholarship!" Shouted Dad at me as Mom stood there watching with her hands wrapped under her chest and shaking her head. "It was just a one-time thing, dad, I'm not going to do that again." They did let me go after mom had her say too.

I go upstairs to my room, grab my phone from my backpack, and call Lissa with tears in my eyes. She is such a great support to me and is helping me through this, with him. Since I have to go back to school the next day. I feel stronger because of Lissa standing by me and walking with me through the hallways. With that, a week passed, and I felt like I can let go of him.

Until night falls, and I still betray myself by crying for the boy he wasn't after all. That night I cried so much that it had to be out of my system by now.

Until I see him walk by and look at me like I'm a piece of dirt, not the girl he had talked to and laughed with all those months. Which made me recoil and flee into the nearby restroom to hide from crying.

That day, I promised myself that this would be the last time I would cry for Hunter Roe. For the rest of the day, Lissa stayed by my side, not leaving me alone for another minute. Then Hunter approached us with his group of soccer idiots, she immediately turned me away from them as she looked at them with a deadly stare.

When the weekend comes, Lissa takes me to the movie theater, where we get popcorn together and step into the theater. Before the movie starts, I hear the laugh of a boy I immediately recognize as Hunter's laugh. The laugh he first used for me and now for a blond girl sitting next to him with her hand in his. Lissa looks at me apologetically, wondering if it's her fault he's here. She couldn't know he was coming, could she? The moment I see his lips touch hers, my already broken heart breaks even further.

This felt like a start to healing my heart. Healing me from the boy Hunter Roe has become. Now I'm going to put my focus where it should have stayed in the first place, school.