Making Waves | lo'ak sully

chapter 13: fear

Ngalu sat down next to Lo'ak, facing him while he was leaning his head back on the tree. 'I just wanted her to be happy, happier than she was before.' She softly spoke while her ears lowered. She crossed her legs. 'I thought she would have liked to connect to our spirit tree. She hesitated before making the link, you know.'

He now faced her as well, his eyes seemed foggy. He didn't know what to feel anymore. He was so overwhelmed.

'I was the one to tell her that it was okay to connect and she listened to me. I did not mean to do it, I swear.' She lowered her head. Lo'ak looked back up to she night sky.

There was a comfortable silence. Both of their heads were filled with all sorts of thoughts.

Lo'ak opened his mouth. 'I saw Payakan again today.' He turned his head back to Ngalu's and Ngalu shot her head up to face him again as well.

'How was it?' She asked interested.

Lo'ak nodded. 'I'm slowly starting to understand him better. Breathing is harder, though. Tsireya has been teaching me really well, it's not that. I just can't seem to get it.'

'I can help you.' Ngalu blurted out. She didn't want to say it, her mouth just had a mind of its own.

Lo'ak's eyes met hers. 'You'd do that? After I was so rude to you?' His voice cracked while asking. She knew he was hurting.

'Only if you promise to be nicer to me.' She joked, a grin on her face. She noticed he didn't really laugh, he didn't even really hear her. She narrowed her eyes, studying his face. Trying to find out what he's thinking about. 'You are in pain, what is wrong?'

Lo'ak looked at her with a surprised expression on his face. Nobody in his family noticed him hurting, they were either too busy or didn't care. He was Lo'ak after all, the forgotten one. The one who could only do things wrong. However Ngalu, a girl they'd basically just met, noticed immediately. She noticed the hurt in his eyes. 'Nobody seems to think about me. I'm the only one who cares about our home, they've all forgotten. Nobody asks why I'm acting like this.' He scratched the back of his neck.

'I see your pain and I understand you. It must be hard, being the only one to think about your home. I can assure you, they are all missing it. They are just processing it in a different way.' She slowly and hesitantly placed a hand on his shoulder.

Lo'ak wanted to push it off. Her hand was too soft, he was afraid her fragile hand would be destroyed if he ever even touched it. She looked pretty under the moonlight, her eyes sparkling. He had to stop looking at her. But he couldn't. This moment was rare. He knew this could never happen again or he'd get too close. So he wanted to remember every second of it.

He was taking in every little thing about her face so he could remember every little detail later on. He didn't want to miss a thing. Her freckles scattered across her face, he needed to remember where every single one was placed. She had a little scar through her bottom lip, it wasn't big but it was noticeable. You couldn't see it from the usual distance they had between them. Her big eyes were the color of the reef, a beautiful green blue color. Her wet black hair clung to her neck and shoulders. Her hair was quite long and it wasn't done like any of the other girls he'd seen here. She decided to let her straight hair flow loosely behind her while only braiding a couple of strands of her hair. She had shells and colorful beads wrapped in those strands.

Then his eyes moved back up to her face. She had such a cute nose, he thought.

Ngalu noticed him staring and took it as an opportunity to do the same. She'd only ever looked at him with disgust. Whenever she saw Lo'ak, she'd connect it to an angry feeling in the bottom of her stomach. This was different. She actually saw his face in a different light. The flickering of the torches and the purple color from the sky shone beautifully on his face. She'd never thought she'd be the one to say this, but he was pretty good looking. With all the disgust she felt, she never really noticed. Thinking about that already made her cringe.

'There you are!' Ngalu and Lo'ak quickly moved away from each other and both stood up, afraid that someone was going to catch the two of them getting close to each other. Tsireya walked up to them, surprised to find Lo'ak together with Ngalu. She quickly glanced at Ngalu with big eyes, then looked back at Lo'ak. 'You were going to help me weave, remember. You promised.' She grabbed his arm. 'I hope you don't mind me stealing him from you, sister.' She smiled at Ngalu.

'Of course not, by all means.' She smiled back, Lo'ak still glancing over at Ngalu. He had to get away now, or he'd be doing something he would regret. He felt too comfortable in that moment.

'Let's go.' He took Tsireyas hand and walked off. Tsireya let out a little giggle after looking back at Ngalu with a smile on her face.

Only Ngalu was left standing by the tree. She was confused. What had just happened? She was so caught up in the moment. She slowly lowered herself onto the spot Lo'ak just sat, revisiting her memory of a few seconds ago.

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'Have you seen Ngalu?' Neteyam hadn't seen her in some time and grew worried of her. He'd usually see her somewhere around.

He was surprised when she walked into Ngalu's pod, seeing Tsireya and Lo'ak sit and weave something together. She thought her sister would know where she would be.

Lo'ak's stomach turned into a knot. Why was he feeling this way? His heart was still rapidly beating. He didn't know what was wrong with him.

'What?' Neteyam's sudden loudness made him come back from his deep thoughts. He was so out of it. 'Why?' Neteyam looked at Lo'ak with a puzzled expression.

Lo'ak didn't know what he meant. 'What?' He asked him, rubbing his temples.

'You were with Ngalu?' Neteyam asked him.

He sighed. 'What?'

'Tsireya just told me you were with her. She said it looked like you two had been there for a while.' He quoted her.

'What's with you this evening, Lo'ak?' Tsireya asked him while grabbing his arm.

'Sorry, I have to go.' He stood up and walked to his pod without looking back. His thoughts were racing, his heart was beating fast and every inch of his body missed Ngalu's soft touch. This was exactly the reason why he couldn't get close to her. He knew this would happen.

But he was mostly afraid that he couldn't stay away from her anymore.