Ngalu didn't watch the sunrise anymore. She would only think about Neteyam every time she'd see it.
Jake, Neytiri, Ronal and Tonowari all agreed that it would be best if she stayed with Jake and Neytiri from now on. She still saw Ronal and Tonowari as her adoptive parents, but she was happier with Jake and Neytiri. She still saw Aonung and Tsireya every day.
Lo'ak wasn't doing well. He was doing terrible. He didn't even want to go into the water anymore and he had lost his huge appetite. Ngalu felt terrible, seeing him like this. Jake and Neytiri said that they've never seen him like this before. But Ngalu promised Neteyam she would take care of him, so she's trying her best.
He's been distant. Not showing affection or wanting to receive it. Ngalu kept her distance as much as she could, wanting to comfort him but also letting him be. It was so hard on her, dealing with a kind of grief she'd never experienced before and at the same time trying to soothe someone else's pain. Sometimes Jake had to remind her that it was okay to feel things as well, seeing as she'd usually numb herself to help Lo'ak.
At night, everything came out. All of the emotions she'd cropped up the day before. Last night was terrible. She couldn't sleep. Every time she close her eyes, she could see Lo'ak's facial expression change as she got hit by that man's gun.
She should've been dead. But she wasn't. That man shot her. How is she still alive? Jake took out the bullet and Ronal patched her up. Beside some cuts, bruises and her broken arm, she was perfectly fine. She wasn't breathing for a very long time yet here she is, standing in front of her mat as Jake called everybody in for breakfast.
Not only did he leave a gap in Ngalu's heart, Neteyam also left a gap in the family. It felt so empty without him. She would always spot his smile from across the room first thing in the morning. Now, it was empty. Kiri and Tuk slowly stumbled in, not really saying anything.
Ngalu sighed, Lo'ak wasn't having breakfast again. She shot a look over at Jake. He knew what she meant. He nodded, telling her it was okay to go and look for Lo'ak. She wanted to see if he was already awake, or possibly still. She slowly peeked her head around the corner as she saw him laying down and staring at the roof. She hated seeing him like this.
'Skipping breakfast again?' Ngalu asked, slowly moving next to his mat.
He sighed, nodding. He looked numb. His eyes had bags underneath them and his face was puffy, indicating that he'd been crying.
Ngalu wanted to take his pain away, but she couldn't. This is one of those moments where she had to turn her emotions off. 'Why?' She gently spoke.
'Not hungry.' He didn't look at her, knowing he would break if he saw her face.
'I'll save you some. For later.' Ngalu suggested, making Lo'ak nod. She lingered for a second, just looking at him. Then she moved her head down, walking away.
'And?' Jake was very eager to know his answer. She shook her head slowly. Jake nodded as his ears lowered, turning back to the food to hand Ngalu some. She thanked him as she sat down next to Kiri, slowly eating her food.
Kiri looked like shit too. She probably couldn't sleep as well.
Spider jumped in, sitting down next to Kiri as well. 'Morning.' He said.
'Morning.' Kiri didn't look up.
Spider was weird little boy, Ngalu thought. He was like them but small and beige, first of all. He acted like one of them, talked like one of them. Sometimes he'd try to tell a joke to lighten the situation. But nobody seemed to laugh.
Tsireya and Aonung took it hard too, seeing as this was also the first time they'd actually seen murder like this.
It was just all one big mess. Eywa, Teyam. Why did you have to leave? Ngalu would do what she always did before the Sully's came into the picture, swim beyond the reef until she couldn't anymore. It was sort of like her coping mechanism. Sometimes she'd hope she wouldn't come back.
When she was done with eating, she swam up to a rock. The very rock she had her sunset moment with Neteyam on. The one she saw when she was linked to the spirit tree. She'd try to visit his grave every day.
She fiddled with her neckpiece, one that belonged to Neteyam. She watched the waves roll by. She'd wonder if he was still here would he be sitting next to her right now? She heard an Ilu behind her, followed by footsteps. Lo'ak sat down next to her. He'd usually do this when she sat there. He would sit next to her but not look at— or talk to her. After a while he'd leave again, leaving Ngalu alone.
'I miss him.'
Ngalu was a little shocked. He'd usually not talk to her when they were here. 'Me too.' She said, not looking away from the waves as that might startle Lo'ak.
'I regret not spending enough time with him.' Lo'ak sighed.
Ngalu frowned, wondering what he meant. Should she ask? It could be a sensitive topic. Ah, screw it. 'What do you mean?'
'Back in the forest, he'd always have to train to become Olo'eyktan. And whenever he had free time, which was basically never, he'd ask me to do something with him. I always declined his offer. I regret that now.' He looked down at his hands picturing blood on them, reliving the moment after Neteyam died.
'But that was a long time ago. You can't blame yourself for that. You didn't know this would happen.' She slightly turned to him as he sighed.
'I guess you're right.' He looked down before standing up, jumping on his Ilu before swimming away. Leaving Ngalu alone with her thoughts yet again.
YOU ARE READING
Making Waves | lo'ak sully
Fanfiction'You made me realize that I should be proud of the person I have become,' 🫧- Ngalu was a lost soul, not knowing who she was anymore. Lo'ak was a lonely outcast, never able to live up to his older brother. When the two meet, it was like she was the...
