What about me?

Part 28

We arrive at the loft, and I immediately put the tea kettle on. Once Bam is settled in his bed with his squishy dinosaur, we settle on the couch curled up with mugs of hot tea.

"My father is in prison, Kookie." His eyes drift down to his steaming mug and return to my eyes. I smile and softly nod, letting him know that I hear him without judgment. "I didn't lie to you. We are not close, but I do check on him. I don't visit but I do call a liaison a few times a month to see how he's doing. He's a wealthy man and all of his needs are met, except freedom. It's prison but he gets special perks because of who he is." Tae's sharing creates more questions, but I restrain myself from asking more. I just allow him to flow and tell me his story. This can't be easy for him, and I really want to support him.

"My father and his father were connected to organized crime. Crime bosses, I think is the correct wording." Fuck, Quan's crazy ass was right. I knew there was something going on. I just knew it. "He has five more years to serve on his sentence." Tae whispers and bites his lip as my chest feels heavy. There's a gnawing question that I must ask. Tae and I are working on trust, and I know that withholding is something we choose not to do. My stomach is in knots.

"So is Mr. Chung a gangster?"

"Yes, Kookie, you could call him that. He's an organized crime boss."

"Tae, why didn't you tell me this?" I'm careful to keep my tone soft and enquiring as to not convey judgment as he has always done for me.

"Because I was ashamed." His chin tilts downward. "I didn't want to give you any reason to reject me. Especially after I met your wonderful family." My head pulls back in a jerk. Surely, he's not talking about my family I think.

"What? My family?" I lift an eyebrow towards him.

"Yes, Kookie your family. Each and every one of them. I love them and I believe they're perfect with all their imperfections. But most importantly, you all love each other, and you're close." He has the sweetest smile with a glimmer of light of sincerity in his eyes.

"Tae, are you a gangster or involved in that in any way?"

"No. Well not anymore."

"What?" His eyes snap to mine.

"Let me explain." He takes a deep gulp of his tea. "My father didn't want that life for me. He promised my mother when I was born. He actually kept me away from my grandfather." He swallows another sip of tea and places his mug down on the table as I cling on to mine, feeling a need for its warmth.

"My father never really had a choice. My mother took us half of the year to the US, and we stayed with her parents. I didn't see him very often until I got older." A wave of anxiety moves in my belly.

"Tae what did you mean not anymore?" I move to the edge of my seat gripping my mug tightly, eager to hear more.

"After my dad was in prison, I needed some help with something. I knew Mr. Chung and went to him for a favor. I knew my dad wouldn't like it, so I didn't tell him. It was a fucked-up decision on my part that I will always regret. At this time my dad and I were close. There's no such thing as a simple favor. It means you're in. Once you're in you're always in. That's the way it works." My tongue goes dry as my heart aches for Tae and I bring my mug to my mouth for another sip of tea. Tae said he was close to his father back then. His favor with Mr. Chung must have changed that.

"Why Tae? If you wanted to be out. Why ask for a favor?"

"Kookie, I didn't do it for myself. I did it for someone I loved at the time." The pieces start to come together for me. Tae is a good man and I know firsthand that he'd do anything for someone he loves. Like me.