GRIDLOCK - Lando Norris [BOOK 1 Gridlock Series]

24

For the rest of my time at the bar, I watched on at Lando and Luisinha and not once, not even for a split moment, not even for a stolen glance, did his eyes wander from her to mine. I watched him stare at her in the ways I thought he used to look at me.

I saw him dance with her, make her laugh, kiss her whenever he wanted, without worrying about who saw. I watched her talk with his friends, her wrap her arm around his shoulders and take pictures of the two of them together and how that used to be me. How that was us. Wasn't it?

"You okay?" George asks as he slides into the booth I was sitting at alone. 

I nod as I chew nervously on my straw. 

"She's beautiful" I comment. And it was the truth. As much as I envied her, I couldn't be mad at her, she doesn't know. She wouldn't have known. No one really knew. 

"She is" he agrees, and I'm not sure if thats what I really wanted to hear. "You know Ev, I know what Lando did to you was sucky and terrible. But do you really think it would work dating any of us? Given how this sport is, and who your brother is, do you think it would have ended well with even the best intentions?" 

I think about what he said, but its always something I've known. With Max being at the top of his field here, I don't think anyone dating his sister on the field would be considered something to celebrate. After all, no matter how they are on the field, they are always a rival off track. 

"I know" I agree with him as I keep Luisinha and Lando in my line of vision. The reality of how that could have never been me, sinks further in. "I'm going to go" I announce as I collect my things. 

"I am sorry though, I wish it could have been different for you" he sympathises. 

"Yeah, me too" I settle. 

I do my best to sneak out without causing too much attention to myself, checking over my shoulder every now and again in case I'm being followed. 

"Shit" I cuss as I bump into a figure. "Sorry" I apologise, picking up my dropped belongings. 

"Desculpe" she announces, which sounds Portuguese, I'm not fluent in that one, but as I bring my eyes up to her, the dazzling ones that look back at me belong to none other than Luisinha. 

"Sorry" she corrects herself acknowledging that I didn't understand her the first time. "I'm Luisinha" she offers her hand. 

I take it and give it a little awkward shake "Evelyn" 

"Oh, you were at the table before" she struggles, obviously English isn't in her strongest, but bless her for accommodating me. How can I fault this girl. 

"Yeah, I'm Max's sister" I announce my correct title that I need to accept in this grid. "I was just going.  Lovely to meet you"

Without allowing her to respond I take myself out of the bar in an almost jog and decide to take the long walk back to my hotel. I have nothing better to do, especially once I arrive back there. 

A huge part of me doesn't want to go to the last 3 rounds. I want to have a break from being a Verstappen. From being around Formula One and from being this person. 

Lando and I were never even an option. I broke up with someone I never got the chance to date. He wasn't ever going to receive my love and I made myself a fool for thinking I could. 

I pull out my phone to book a flight, to anywhere really. I'm not overly fussed. I think back to the gift I received from Charles and Johan and immediately begin to search for flights and hotels in Florence. 

As desperate as I am, there is a flight that leaves at 6am tomorrow to Florence and I booked it. I just want a break from it all. 

As I head back to the hotel to back my belongings, I book at car to take me to the airport tomorrow morning. 

I send a generic message to mother to state that I will be away for the next two races but will make sure I am back for the final race in Abu Dhabi. I know this will be unsatisfactory as I am meant to be there supporting Max, but at the moment, I feel like I need to support myself more. 

By morning, I don't know if I even clocked an hours sleep, but I am up, dressed in my sweats and ready to head off on my own adventure. 

In the car to the airport, I fill Max, Johan and Charles all in on my plans, all offering their support and understanding. Johan mad I didn't wait until the end of season and invite him. 

As I arrive at the airport and the driver hands me my bags,  I make my way inside the terminal and check myself in. I haven't yet booked a return flight to any specific destination, but I booked out the hotel room for 10 days.  It at least gives me some sort of head start. 

"Running away?" his voice chills me to the core, and I'm wandering what god I must have hurt in a past life to have this much bad luck. 

"Lando, what are you.." I ask as I look around. 

"I heard you were running away this morning, thought I best come and make sure I wasn't the reason" his smug smile completely destroying me. He's dressed in a forest green hoodie, grey sweats and his hair still in wet curls from his morning shower.

"There are many reasons, but I'm not running" I clarify. 

"Where are you going?" he asks, looking at my luggage and seeing that I've brought it all. Usually if we have little trips, you pack and overnight bag and let the team drag around the rest of your belongings. But I've brought my whole suitcase with me.  

'Florence" I tell him in confidence. "Charles and Johan bought me a art visit for my birthday" I inform. The mention of Charles' name and my birthday bringing up memories possibly both of us didn't want to remember. 

He nods in understanding. 

"When will you be back?" he asks, looking up at me through his curls as he fidgets his feet back and forth. 

I breath out in frustration, "I don't know, Lando. Why do you care anyway?" I bark catching him off guard. 

"I'm just asking" he mutters, looking uneasy. 

"Luisinha seems really lovely, Lando. I am happy for you.  I hope that it works out with you two." I offer as sincere as I can. 

He breathily chuckles, but not in laughter, more like annoyance. "That's nothing" he shakes his head. 

I cut in, "But maybe it could be. Maybe it should be. She really did seem lovely and she's gorgeous. You deserve to have someone in your life Lando that you'll allow to love you" 

He looks directly at me, taking in my words, but it's like they don't seem to resonate. 

"You deserve someone..." he begins to say but I cut him off again. 

"Don't say I deserved better when you walked away from me, I only ever wanted you,  I didn't care for better or anything else. I wanted you. But it wasn't enough. It was never gong to be enough." 

He opens his mouth to speak but words fail him. Regret filling up the corners of his eyes. Not regret for what happened, but probably how it happened. I really don't think, despite everything, I don't think he's a bad person. 

I close the gap between us and wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head upon his shoulder, "I'm sorry it had to be you" I whisper. 

I feel his arms sling over my shoulders as he holds me closer, "I'm sorry it couldn't be"