𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘨𝘯𝘦 || 𝘫𝘪𝘩𝘢𝘯

𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢

   It'd been a while since Jeonghan had been so heavily exhausted.

   His calf muscles were begging for rest and the bones in his body ached in pain. Joshua, who lay beside him, wasn't in any better condition. As soon as he'd hit the bed, the freak immediately passed out, somehow being able to fall asleep with his face hidden deep in the blankets. He looked like a fox who'd gotten stuck face first in the snow. As a cold breeze ran over them, the mafioso realized he couldn't really judge the other; he soon joined the freak and quickly hid under the covers.

   They were both currently in Jeonghan's room with the lights off and the AC to the lowest temperature they could handle. As a result, it was cold as hell in there, and, as comfortable darkness enveloped them, a blanket of blue seeped through the closed blinds which further immersed them into the peaceful atmosphere. How'd they'd ended up in the same bed Jeonghan couldn't really recall. All he knew is that once the mission was over and they were in a safe place far away from all the chaos, Joshua abruptly stopped the motorcycle in the middle of a random alley and then ran to the nearest wall of it. He threw up all the food they'd been given in the morning and Jeonghan couldn't do anything but pat his back through it.

   After that, everything had become a blur. He didn't know how or when they got to headquarters, and what Cheol and Minghao argued over once they'd entered. All Jeonghan could remember was that Cheol got them examined for injuries and then allowed them to head on over to their dorm for the rest of what they had left of the day. In their absentminded state, both inmates must've somehow ended up in the same room under the same blanket. Now, 7 hours after they'd arrived, Jeonghan was wide awake, bored out of his mind, trying to recollect yesterday's events.

   But even after much thinking, all the mafioso could conclude was a tired 'Damn'.

   With a stretch, the mafioso glanced over to the clock by his left and narrowed his eyes at the bright red light.

   12:57 pm 

   Jeonghan grimaced. They'd definitely overslept. But, since no one had barged in the dorm to wake them up, the inmate supposed they wouldn't be needed until later on the day. However, acknowledging this brought him regret; Jeonghan wished he would have slept longer. Then again, the mafioso knew he wouldn’t be able to even if he tried. Ever since he’d become a made-man, Jeonghan’s paranoia got so bad that his sleep schedule got so fucked up he needed a watch to help him know what time of the day it was. To add, the inmate had to know where he was and who he was with at all times, this being the reason why he’d wake up continuously throughout the night. Which made him wonder the next, how he’d been able to sleep so soundly a couple hours ago, especially right next to someone who knew how to break into cars.

   With a groan, Joshua turned to Jeonghan’s side and hugged the blanket close, totally unaware of the mafioso’s inner turmoil.

   The only other person who’d been able to lay next to Jeonghan took a whole year to even get the mafioso’s smile directed at them. So of course, the inmate couldn’t help but wonder how in the world Joshua achieved all this in a month.

   Was it because Jeonghan had changed? Or was it because the environment he was in wasn’t so rigid and tense like the one he was raised in?

   Jeonghan shook his head. Although these two were true, the mafioso knew there had to be more reasons as to why Joshua had become so special. And to be honest, Jeonghan was more than scared to admit them.

   Before these thoughts could continue to drown his head, the inmate made his way to the end of the bed and looked for his sleepers. He planned to stand up and go make himself some coffee or hot coco, but alas, really couldn’t do that when he noticed something that made him freeze on the spot.

   Tears were rolling down Joshua’s cheeks like raindrops on a window. They lumped in the freak’s pretty eyelashes and tainted his undereye a soft pink; glistened under the sun’s rays which now colored the light a warm yellow. The image was a sight to see and yet the mafioso hated every second of it. There was no denying those tears were of sadness.

   “Joshua..” He whispered, a hand instinctively reaching out for the other with no thought behind it. “Love” Jeonghan said again, louder this time, trying his best to shake the freak awake without startling him.

   Slowly but surely, the tear coated lashes began to flutter open. After taking a deep breath, the freak then stretched his limbs and rubbed his puffy eyes. As soon as he noticed Jeonghan a soft smile quickly formed on his lips, one that was completely unaware of the drying tracks on his cheeks. 

   “Good morning,” He whispered. “..Why so early?”

   But instead of giving him an answer, Jeonghan reached out to wipe away the tear threatening to fall at any second. As he did so, the frown decorating his face finally took shape.

   “You were crying” He finally spoke. “..Why?”

   “I…had a bad dream I guess” Joshua looked away. “Sometimes I have bad dreams. I can’t remember them well when I wake up though”

   “You’re lying. You’re awful at lying”

   A sigh. “Maybe I am,” He admitted. “But you know, right? How difficult it is to retell them”

   And he did. Jeonghan definitely did. Everytime he dreamt of the past, of the life he led up to this point, the mafioso wished he could just forget those dreadful times. They reminded him of his mistakes after all, of the sins he’d committed, and dreaming meant reliving them, which further messed up his mental state.

   “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Jeonghan said as his hand began patting the other’s hair. “You don’t have to force yourself with me you know”

   Joshua giggled. “Since when are you this soft?”

   Since when is he? Jeonghan didn’t know.

   “You’re soft too”

   “And I’ll always be whenever you need me,” He smiled. “Even when you’re crying due to a few drops of blood”

   Jeonghan huffed. “I never cried. And they weren’t drops, my arms was completely covered in it”

   “I’m just teasing you” Joshua snuggled closer to the pillow. “You know I’ll never judge you” And before the mafioso could utter a word, the inmate grabbed the hand that laid on his head and brought it to his lips. After placing a kiss on his knuckles, Joshua said in a soft whisper: “Thank you Jeonghan”

   Stunned, all the mafioso could reply with was a shy: “You’re welcome” Because although he feared the other had become special in a way no one had ever become before, in a way even he never reached, Jeonghan couldn’t help but long to drown in the other’s comforting presence. He’d always feared what he could never have, maybe it’s time to finally welcome it.

  

  

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post mission moments by yours truly

thank you all for reading and I hope you all enjoyed today's chapter! 😊