ikigai | s. sanemi

五

Taisho Era, 1913

As her hairbrush falls out of her hand, thirteen years old Himorogi Tsukihana winces in excruciating pain, falling down on the floor of her room with a thud, body thrashing and turning as she feels heat and an insurgence of blood streaming through her veins, eye pupils close to rolling to the back of her head while veins began to appear on her temples and neck.

Tsukihana didn't know what exactly is happening to her but a certain part of her fought against whatever is happening to her body; a certain part of her had control thus she is able to shake her head from left to right, grip her hands tight until she could feel her palms getting wet, presumably blood that is drawing out while letting out loud cry of pain.

Two parts of her upper teeth began to hurt, it was as if they're coming out and want to fall out. Tsukihana grits her teeth, suppressing them from growing all the while groaning and grunting in pain. When the pain was beyond her, Tsukihana's lavender eyes finally rolled back and returned with pale green ones, a set of fangs growing from her upper teeth and nails growing longer, long and sharp enough to pierce into a human's body.

She remains still all the while laying down on the floor of her room, her hearing enhancing pads of feet rushing from all over their house to the sounds of their distress outside of her room. Swiftly, Tsukihana sits back up on the floor, raising her hands up to her face before touching her own face.

She always knew that there is something going on with her that she couldn't put a finger on. Yet more so, she's also heard of stories of man eating demons, how they come out of the night to lure and devour on humans to satiate their hunger.

Hunger.

The more Tsukihana thinks of the story, the more her craving for blood caves on her.

Gulping and turning around to face the door of her room, she knew that on the other side were her family, the priestesses and priests that she's known as a child. She didn't wanted to be the reason why they'd drop dead on the ground all because she is hungry. When she had no one, she had them.

Tears brim on Tsukihana's eyes as she thinks about it. She didn't want to kill them yet she couldn't deny nor put a longer hold onto the hunger she feels. If she puts her hunger aside, she feels as if she'd lose her head.

As tears begin to fall down from her face, Tsukihana slowly brings her left wrist close to her lips, opening her mouth to sink her teeth on her own flesh.

The pain is unbearable yet her craving for blood is being satisfied. With tears pooling on her eyes, she continued to drink as much blood of hers as she can until she felt sick, detaching her teeth from her left arm, droplets of blood staining on the floor of her bed and onto her yukata.

Seeing the blood on her floor and the marks on her left arm made Tsukihana cover her mouth with her right hand. Quiet sounds of sobbing eliciting from her lips as falls down by the foot of her bed.

"Are you okay?"

Tsukihana's eyes widens, head shot up to look at the door of her room as she hears Amane's voice ask for her. Flinching, the door to her room opens and three horrified faces are what greets her.

"Older sister..." She spoke softly, teeth and chin covered in almost dried blood. "Mother...Father...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry" She repeats like a prayer, tears pooling into her eyes as she gets on her knees, pressing and rubbing her palms up and down together before lowering her head, forehead and palms pressed on the floor.

"What did you do, my flower?" She hears her mother ask.

Slowly, Tsukihana knelt up and extending her left arm out, lifting the sleeve of her yukata to show them the bite mark she inflicted on herself. Blood still profusely coming out of her wrist.

"I was so hungry..." She tells him, sniffing. "I didn't want to attack all of you, so I fed on myself instead."

"I'm not hungry anymore." She quickly adds, not wanting to scare her family further. "I drank as much until I felt sick. Most probably, I won't be hungry for the next two to three days."

Tsukihana is glad that she is still treated as a human despite discovering demon blood running in her veins. Now that she knew, she finally understood why she never got tired when playing with the children in the village, finally understood why for every wound she got back then they'd heal in no time, finally understood why she could hear, smell and sense at a greater level than most human, finally understood why one day she craved blood and hid behind a tree.

And for the next succeeding days, weeks, months and year, Tsukihana kept her demon half life a secret to the public, only her family, Kagaya and a few close priestesses and priests' knowing of her deep secret. She is glad that they willingly turn a blind eye on her unwanted half self, all except for one person who, every year continues to ask her, give her an offering.

"The current Demon Slayer Corps already has one hashira." Kagaya spoke to her as they stood a top of the bridge, watching the koi fishes swim around the pond water.

"His current breathing style is a stone one. Truly remarkable." He adds.

In Tsukihana's eyes, Kagaya didn't looked like now from before. She knew of his disease, her older sister Amane made her aware of it from before. Back then, he had a spotless face, now, a there in one on the corner of his left eye area.

"He was falsely imprisoned with a count of murder against seven children that were killed at his monastery." Kagaya begins to say, watching eighteen year old Tsukihana sit down on the curve top of the bridge, letting her feet hang low and above the pond water.

"Before he could be executed, I intervened and set him free. He did not any crime after all. Despite his condition, he only meant to protect those children at his monastery." Kagaya went on.

"Why are you telling me this again?" Tsukihana asks, watching the koi fishes swim out and about inside the water. "Do you think I have the capability to become a hashira?"

Kagaya smiled softly. "I don't think. I know."

"As a matter of fact," Kagaya goes on. "I know someone who may be of use to you and your condition. You do want to know how to get rid of the demon blood that is running to you, right?"

Upon hearing this, Tsukihana's eyes widens.

"I know you've been curious as to why it took you so many years before the demon blood to come out like that. And I know someone who may hold the answer to all of your unanswered questions." He finishes.

Tsukihana is silent for a moment, letting her feet move back and forth simultaneously.

"You're not letting me meet this person until I accept conditions, am I right?" She asks, feeling her toes dip into the cold water.

Kagaya shook his head no in response.

"I accept your offer." Tsukihana replies, "I accept because I want to kill the man who made me like this. If I wasn't like this, maybe I'd have live a normal life. Be like my older sister, get selected to marry, carry their children, live as a warm and caring housewife..." She lets her words go on with the wind.

"I'm glad to hear your acceptance." Kagaya responded. "I shall be sending a letter to someone I know."

"For what purpose?" Tsukihana asks.

"You'll be their successor."