I Wish You Knew

Chapter 04

August and I were currently treading the halls of the fourth floor. We were on our way to our classroom after the meeting we had. The SSG was excused to talk to the university heads regarding our Valentine's program. 

Naghiwalay na kami ng landas nina Thalia at Asher dahil magkaiba ang floor nilang ABM sa amin na HUMSS. 

May apat na building ng senior high school sa Crestview. Sa first building namamalagi ang mga STEM students, sila kasi ang may pinakamarami na number of enrollees. Sa second building naman, naghahati ang ABM at HUMSS—sa kanila ang first and second floor habang sa amin ang third and fourth floor. Sa third building mo makikita ang mga GAS and ADT habang nasa fourth building naman ang mga TVL. 

Pagkarating namin sa room ay naroon na sa harapan si Sir Espinoza, our Trends, Networks, and Critical Thinking in the 21st Century professor. We both greeted him to which he returned the favour by smiling at us. Mabait talaga si sir at magaling pa magturo, which is why his subject is one of my favorites.

"Ms. Manuel and Mr. Valtamore, please take a seat na mga anak. I would also like to inform you two that I have given the class a project to be done in pairs."

I quickly took note of this along with the details of the project written on the board.

"Since you both are the only ones without pairs. Kayo na automatically ang mag-pair," sabi nito na may malambot na ngiti sa kan'yang labi. 

Tumango-tango ako sa sinabi ni sir at ngumiti rin sa kanya.  Tumingin ako sa direksyon ni August, na sa gilid ko lang. Hindi ko siya seatmate mismo pero magkalapit lang kami ng upuan. He was already looking at me and when I met his gaze,  he gave me a nod and a small smile before looking up front again.

Our project was further explained by Sir Espinoza and after about fifteen minutes of explaining along with the quick asking of questions and clarifications, he let us use the remaining time on planning with our pair.

Nang makaalis si sir ay naghari ang ingay sa klase. Nagsitayuan na ang mga kaklase namin, most likely to sit beside their pair. Lumapit 'yung ka-pair ng seatmate ko sa may upuan namin kaya naman tumayo na ako at nagbigay-daan sa kanila.

Nakaramdam ako ng tapik sa may braso ko at agad na nilingon ang nagtapik. Muli kaming nagkatinginan ni August. I looked at him as he pulled the seat next to him. He then motioned for me to take a seat. Naupo naman ako at nilapag ang mga gamit ko sa table.

August adjusted his seat so he was turned towards me. I turned my head to the side so I could face him.

"'Di ko expect na magbibigay na agad ng project si sir. It's a good thing we already started with the decorations," he said, starting the conversation as he removed his glasses, probably to clean them.

Without his glasses on, I could now clearly see his dark orbs. His eyes were pretty—mesmerizing even. Hindi man sila kulay asul pero parang kayang-kaya akong lunurin ng mga ito. 

"Yeah, good move talaga 'yun," I said, agreeing with him.

He was still cleaning his glasses when I said it. His eyes trained towards the object in his hands. My eyes were only trained on him.

"By the way... are you okay being partners with me?"

The question slipped from my lips before I could even stop myself. I honestly don't know why I blurted out that question. Maybe it was the atmosphere, maybe it was my tired mind, maybe even my hormones—but whatever it is, all I knew was that I was feeling highly emotional.

I mean, being partners with your long-time crush, who wouldn't want that? Ako lang ata.

But what about what he thinks? Maybe he didn't want to be paired up with me but he wasn't given much of a choice.

August placed his glasses back on and pushed the middle part towards his nose bridge. He had confusion written all over his face, clearly not getting why I asked that question.

He didn't look like he'd answer my question, making me chuckle bitterly at the situation. I was about to divert the topic into something else when he decided to speak up.

Instead of answering though, he just proceeded to ask me one himself.

"Why wouldn't I want to be partners with you?"

Maingay ang paligid namin pero tila katahimikan ang bumalot sa aming dalawa. Natigilan ako sa tanong niya, sinabayan niya pa ng mga titig niya na tila gustong alamin ang tumatakbo sa utak ko ngayon.

I couldn't look away. It was as if there was an invisible force that was locking my eyes in place. Naramdaman ko nalang ang pagbilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Pinilit kong makawala sa mga titig niya, pinikit ko ang aking mga mata at huminga ng malalim.

Nang buksan ko ang aking mga mata, ganoon pa rin ang pagtingin niya sa akin. Magsasalita na dapat ako nang unahan niya ako.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit mo iyon natanong. It honestly doesn't sound like you at all," he told me, eyes never leaving mine. "I don't know who made you feel incapable, Calli, but if we're being real here, you're the best partner anyone could ask for."

He told me that with a soft voice and genuine eyes, and I swore I could have melted at that very moment. My brain couldn't formulate the right words to say and all I could do was stare at him with slightly glassy eyes.

He leaned a bit closer to me before saying something again.

"Anyone in this room would be lucky to have you as their partner, and I'm proud to say that I'm the lucky one."

Kung mabilis na ang tibok ng puso ko kanina, naging kabaligtaran ito ngayon. Mabagal na ang pagtibok nito, mabagal pero ramdam na ramdam mo 'yung pitik. Ngayon ko lang ito naramdaman and I was afraid that I would have a mental breakdown in front of him and so I broke into a soft laugh.

"I think you flattered me a little too much," I said jokingly, reaching for my eye's waterline to wipe the tears that were threatening to fall.

August scanned me, probably making sure that I was okay.

"Okay na ako," I reassured him, giving him a small smile.

Nanatili siyang nakatitig sa akin, ganoon din ako sa kan'ya. Lulunurin ata talaga ako nito.

Unti-unti niyang tinaas ang kan'yang kamay at ipinatong ito sa ulo ko. He caressed the top of my head gently.

"Sure?" he asked, still not breaking eye contact.

I hummed as reply, subtly enjoying the feeling of his hand on top of my head. Once I had enough of the comfort I slowly reached out for his hand and removed it from my head. I flashed him a smile—a full one this time.

"Magsimula na ba tayo?" I asked him as I fixed my hair.

Nilapit niya 'yung upuan niya sa akin at binuksan 'yung notebook niya bago siya tumango.

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THINGS I WISH YOU KNEW
Entry #4

I wish you knew that you helped me to be confident with my skills.

I would never be the best without you and that's what makes you so special to me.