It's been 2 weeks since Enid and I got back together. We have been on a a couple of dates but it doesn't feel the same and most likely never will. Whenever they shared a kiss it felt empty and forced, she thought she wanted to be back with Enid but what if this just caused more pain. Whenever Enid told a story involving Ajax she's get quiet around his name and look at me for some sort of approval, was this the right choice for us?
I still am adjusting to being vulnerable around Enid again and it's not easy. There's a lot I want to say and ask but it seems pointless. I'm being pathetic, I need to gain control again.
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I've noticed Wednesday is still very distant and I can't blame her , I mean if she cheated on me and then years later comes back and say 'hey btw I was actually cheating on you' I would also have a heard time believing them.
I decide that maybe couples therapy would be a good idea, of course Wednesday would never agree so I told her that we're going to the museum.
We're at my house right and I look over to the window and see Wednesday staring out of it like a trapped bird. I walk over to her and hug her from behind but she doesn't move , it's like I'm a ghost to her.
"Hey c'mon it's time to go"
The goth just gets up and walk out. I follow after her and see her already in my car...I never unlocked the door.
30 minutes later
We arrived at the building. After I exit the car I walk over to the other side and open the door for Wednesday who glares in response
"This isn't a museum" Wednesday says angrily
"Really? I didn't notice, but of we're here we might as well check it out" I say grabbing her hand and leading her inside.
We check in and wait for about 15 minutes before a tall man with a buzz walks out and calls for us, we follow him into a room that has some water bottles set on a table in the middle.
"I'm Chris, and I'm assuming you're Wednesday and Enid" Chris chuckles
" Yeah I'm Enid and the gloomy one is Wednesday" I inform him
" Okay I'm gonna ask you a few questions before we get started alright?" He asked
I nod
"So what made you think you need couples therapy ? " he looks at me first
"Well I just think it could help strengthen our relationship and possibly solve some issues from the past" I answered
"I think this is a waste of time" Wednesday mumbles
"Could you explain to me why you think that?" He asks Wednesday who looks ready to kill
"Because if she really felt the need she could have just talked to me instead of making me talk to a stranger about issues that don't involve him" she snapped
"I've been trying to talk to you but each time you just cold shoulder me and pretend I don't exist" I interjected
"Why have you been could shouldering/ignoring her Wednesday?" The man asked
I could tell Wednesday was irritated by this man, she could see the girls jaw clench and unclench like she was holding back every hurtful word she knew.
"That's none of you business"
I look at the therapist a mouth a sorry to which he nods.
"Wednesday, I want you to know this is a safe space where you can say anything you feel without consequence, after all we're trying to work past those issues" he said in a calm voice.
"You want the Truth. Okay, here it is then. I still can't trust Enid for cheating on me and I've been trying to ignore everything and go back to the way it was before, and I can't believe that she would need to cheat on me with Ajax then come back years later claiming it wasn't what it looked like, does she not know how long it took me to get over her? It's been years, you can't just come and go in my life as you please. And to top it all off she lied again and said we're going to a museum but now I'm stuck here with some generic looking guy named Chris." The goth huffed out
I held back tears, I never intended to hurt her that deep. I let out a deep breath
"I'm sorry Wednesday, I didn't know I hurt you that bad. If it makes you feel better those years without you were hell for me too " I say calmly
"I know I come off as cold and emotionless but everything hurts, whenever you kiss me it feels like my hearts going to explode and not in the good way...." Wednesday said
I understood what she meant, I myself covered my true emotion with a fake bubbly persona. My heart aches too, it hurt everytime I realize my parents won't except me for who I am, or when I start to let someone in and they end up hating the real me. But that's why I loved Wednesday because when we were together she never hated me for being me she actually loved it, even now she didn't hate me for being me instead she hated the choices I made.
"It seems like both of you still care deeply for each other, I definitely recommend talking with each other more maybe even try to be more vulnerable too" the therapist said
I nodded
"I think that's enough for today huh?" I said mainly meaning this towards Wednesday.
" If you'd like but one more thing.....put yourselves in each others shoes and try to see how they felt" Chris said
"Of course, and thank you for your time" I said grabbing Wednesdays hand and leaving the building.
"That wasn't so bad was it" I suppose said with a slight smile
"No, I guess it wasn't" Wednesday responded and laid he head on my shoulder for a quick second.
I want to repair things with her , I just hope it works out.
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