Moments of Collapse

Chapter 6 - A Feeling of Peace

At first, I was wildly confused but then she stepped through the window onto the flat part of her roof. "Come on," Marina's slightly muffled voice called. I followed, bringing out the hot chocolate. I stepped through the window and was immediately engulfed in darkness. There was only a bit of light due to the stars. It was comforting, actually.

For a while we layed there in silence, just staring at the sky. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep, I could feel my eyelids growing heavy. I could smell Marina and feel her as she inched closer, trying to make it unnoticeable. I noticed.

I closed my eyes so she wouldn't know that I knew what she was doing. I didn't want her to feel embarrassed and distant herself. I could feel my body relaxing, my mind opening up to let sleep rush through me. My heart grew soft and I was ready to sleep in her warmth. But before I fell into my comfortable unconciousness, her voice filled my tired ears, startling me. "The night holds so much beauty."

Her gaze locked onto the sky as she continued to speak. "My favorite thing about the night is that you have to stay awake to witness the elegant grace of the darkness. A camera cannot capture such beauty." She moved her head to rest it in the crook of my neck. "Believe me, I've tried." She burst into a fit of giggles, her cheek moved against my skin as well as her chest against my side. "So please, won't you stay up with me Elizabeth?" She wrapped her fingers around my wrist and used her other hand to play with my fingers and trace the lines on my palm. "If you can keep me up, then yeah, sure."

We laid there in silence for what seemed like a couple of minutes, but at the same time an hour. The movements of her fingers against the skin of my hand slowed only a bit, I could tell by that she was slowly, oh so very slowly, falling asleep.
So, I just listened to the leaves being picked up by the wind and dropped, only to be dragged against the concrete and soon picked up again to be taken somewhere else. I listened to the occasional sound of a bird taking flight, flapping their wings and creating a faint sound of air hitting more air. I listened to the soft sound of Marina breathing and felt her chest move against my side as she inhaled and then exhaled.

I can't believe she's this close to me. We've hardly talked or gotten to know each other. It's wild how comfortable she already is with me. Actually, it's crazy how slightly comfortable I am with her already. It usually takes me so long to get even the tiniest bit comfortable with someone. I don't think I've ever been so comfortable during the dark time of night. Especially being outside in such a vulnerable place to have something happen.

"What are you thinking about?" I spoke softly, careful not to startle her. I felt her eyelashes barely graze my skin as she wiggled her head to get comfortable, her hand resting on top of my open palm. "Oh nothing," she ran her fingers along the palm of my hand as she continued with, "Just thinking of how I'm going to get rid of your body." I could feel the movement of her cheeks as she smiled. I knew she was joking, I could tell by the sweet sound in her voice that indicated she mean't no harm at all.

"Really?" I played along sarcastically.

She slipped out from the crook of my neck and faced me, a tight smile on her face as she supported herself on her elbows. "Yep."

"Then who will be your partner for the poetry project?" I asked, trying to conceal my smile.

"I could always do it myself," her bottom lip stayed between her teeth after the last word of her retaliation. She was looking at me with a longing look in her eyes. I felt the sudden urge to kiss her, but I couldn't. So I didn't.

"You couldn't do it alone, you couldn't even find a poem you wanted to share without throwing your notebook." I mean't for her to laugh but instead her smile died. The look in her eyes, it died.

"Yeah," she whispered. She rolled over so she could sit up without facing me. Shit.

"Hey," I sat up and scooted closer to her, "Hey, I'm sorry." I watched her stare at the sky, her blinking pattern unusual. She was probably trying not to cry. I looked away to avoid crying as well and leaned back, propping myself up with my hands. I swung my feet as they dangled over the edge of the roof. I wonder what time it is? I'm pretty sure there's school tomorrow, but I've lost track of what day of the week it is.

I felt something brush the top of my hand, it startled me at first but when I turned to Marina she seemed to be looking around for a comfortable place to sleep. "Are you tired?"
Her head lifted so that her eyes met mine, "Yeah." She whispered, her sad eyes then dropped to my hand.

I crawled back over to where we were laying earlier, she followed. Without a word, she wrapped her small arm around my waist and burried her head in my neck. She continued to play with my hand like she did before.

How are we ever going to finish this project if this is what we're going to do each time? We somehow end up cuddling in some way. How am I going to be able to focus on school if she's going to be like this every day? She's so sensitive and clingy. Yet at the same time, she's distant and as hard as a rock. I just don't understand. I don't understand her and I don't understand this... pull I have towards her. It's like the way she looks at me, the look in her eyes when they read me, it's like she already knows everything about me. But when I look at her, I know nothing except that I want to know everything.

My thoughts disintegrated when I heard the first sound from Marina break our silence. I smiled to myself as the soft snores continued to rain from her lips like drops of water from the sky. Her hand had finally stopped moving, her fingers slowed to a stop between my own fingers. I found peace in her heavy breaths and soon enough I found sleep in her arms.