CLARITY

| part 3 |

Marinette

I woke up to the smell of my favorite breakfast. Strawberry waffles and a cappuccino. I didn't hesitate to get up and go to the bathroom, this place has been a second home to me since I can remember.

"Mari," I heard someone call out for me
"Mari, I made you some breakfast"
My favorite boy, making my favorite thing ever.
I wish things could just be simple, that he could be mine, that we could have a happy ever after. But it wasn't that way.

I brush my teeth and go over to the kitchen counter to see Christian plating our breakfast. His parents work early in the morning so they've already left.

"Ugh this smells so good" I say, trying to keep myself from devouring everything before he could even sit down.
"Well no shit, I made it." He teases. This time I try not to humble him, after all he did make all this for me.
"The same way you made those raw eggs and burnt toast?" I will never let that go.
"You want to continue criticizing my past or eat what's in front of you?"
I didn't take another breath before digging in. He makes them just how I like it. Crispy waffles, with strawberry syrup on top, and a strong cappuccino with milk-foam heart on top with a sprinkle of cinnamon.

~

I had to go outside for some fresh air and to clear my mind. There's a small hiking trail near our house, I always go there whenever i'm down or need a quiet place to think. Dad was always having something to yell about at home, as I got older I just started to leave to public spaces when I needed to study or just get away from him. During one of his arguments with mom I had found this trail and started coming here often. The only other person who knows about it is Christian. Christian. Im gonna miss him so much. I didn't tell him how I have to leave the state. It hurts too much to think about it. I rather just have as much fun as I can now before we move.

Its so peaceful. The trees painted a burnt orange. Leaves scattered, all in different shades of yellow, orange, and red. I love autumn. The breeze just perfect.

I brought a sandwich Christian made me. I wish he was here, but I needed some time alone. He had volleyball practice anyways. I had called my mom after breakfast, she told me how we're moving across the country. There was no chance of me seeing Christian anymore. I have to let him go. I wanted to work things out, to tell him I love him, that I've always loved him. But I just can't. I can't make it harder for him to move on than it already will be. I just have to let it go.

As hard as it will be.
I need to leave him.
Just the thought of not seeing him anymore,
the thought of not hearing his rich, deep voice everyday, pains me. It hurts too much too soon. Just why, why. Why couldn't we live a normal life? Why couldn't he just love me back? Why couldn't things ever go the way I wanted them to?
Tears started forming in my eyes. All the emotions I've held back all these years, they all come now. All of the arguments I had with dad. All the shattered plates and glass I had gotten hurt with trying to clean up. All the times I wished he had loved me back, the same way I loved him. All the times I could've, no, should've confessed to him. But I didn't. I never did.

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hey guys, I know I haven't written another chapter in so long. If i'm being honest I have the idea and plot written and thought of already but I get too unmotivated to write the rest of it. Follow me on tiktok!!
-kulfi