CLARITY

| part 5 |

Christian
" Life moves on with or without you."

I grabbed the gray trousers I ironed last night and a white polo. I played around with my hair in the mirror until it looked good enough. It's hard adjusting to the new color, I dyed it blonde last summer. I couldn't stand to look at myself. Any old part of me just reminded me of her.
I'm not much of a morning eater. I made a latte and walked out my flat. I was offered a dorm but the sound of being with a dirty and insufferable boy made me decline easily. I have a spare room, my parents said it might help to get a roommate if I get lonely. As if. I stopped needing someone a while ago.
It's a decent walk to campus, but I rather drive. I can't stand the morning traffic. I should just start walking there. The traffic hasn't cleared up and im about to be late to class.
"Do these motherfuckers not know how to drive?" I groan, pretty much myself.
I took the nearest exit and was speeding down the local roads when some girl runs in front of me. I slam the breaks, she freezes in front of me trying to use her elbows as a shield.
  "What the fuck is wrong with you?" This girl.
  "What the fucks wrong with me? You're the one who decided to run across the street without looking in any direction?" I say back.
  "I don't have time for this shit," She mumbled while walking away.
  Goddamn this campus is huge. I can barely find my way around this shit. I'm about to be late my first lecture when I see her there. I stopped walking. Fuck me. Of course the same girl that ran in front of me is in my morning lecture. Great. Her back was turned away from me, the entire room was already filled up so the only available seat was next to hers. Wonderful, I'm stuck with miss jay walker. I sit next to her, she glanced over at me. What the fuck was written all over her face. Its almost as if she couldn't believe that it's a small world. But wait- No. It can't be. Her skin tones just similar and Im probably mixing them up. I need to forget about her. Im becoming delusional. Even thought I don't think it could be her, I still wait for the professor to call out her name.

  I zoned out for most of the attendance calls until he said, "Clarity Valeena?" and Ms. Jaywalker says here. Wait. Wait a fucking minute. Clarity? No way. It has to just be some coincidence. She would've recognized me. Would she? I changed a lot since she left. But why would she go by Clarity now? She always thought it was a stupid middle name. I didn't listen to half of what the professor said. The Mari that left me, the one I almost ran over this morning, she doesn't even recognize me. I tried not to look at her too much, she didn't seem to realize who I am. It's better that way I guess. Part of me did hurt, knowing not only did she move on easily but now no one will call her the name I adore. At least she kept her word, she really did come here for me. I hope so at least.

~

  "Derek? Derek Carter?" She says, cutting my train of thoughts.
"What happened?" I say.
"It's the end of the lecture..?" She says.
"Oh shit, I'm so sorry." I said while collecting my things.
"No no it's okay. I'm a second year, I remember zoning out of most of my classes too" She chuckled a bit so I went along with it.
"Yeah, let me walk you to your next class" She was pretty too, I can't be hung over Clarity forever.

Marinette

   Ugh. I don't know why I stayed even after the lecture. I didn't want to leave without knowing his name. I acted like I wanted to learn more about the school when I saw this brunette start talking to him. She called him Derek Carter something about that name...It sounds so familiar? But I don't know any Derek? Ugh. Either way, I wouldn't want to know him. The blond bitch almost ran me over. Of course I'm seated next to him. Great.

  After another long lecture, I went to go on a walk around campus. The whole place is so foreign. The beautiful town is so different than anywhere i've been. I worked my ass off to be here, to get a scholarship and to find Christian. I'm a little ashamed to have done most of this for him, especially when he never tried to talk to me or respond to anything I sent him, but this has always been a dream of mine. I haven't figured my way around here yet, but I have 7 more years to do so.

  I walked past the long food halls and the bright green gardens. It's transitioning from Summer to Autumn so quickly, but at least all the flowers smell heavenly and are beautifully colored. Too bad it won't last. Mom would love this, I really miss her. I can't afford her to come here yet, but I'm thinking of getting a part time job to at least fly her out here. In the mean time, I need to also make enough money to find a new place. My roommates are filthy, I never thought people could be so...gross. And they're also just super unsociable. So far nothings really been going well, but I can't get discouraged yet. I came here for a reason.

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Hey, again please let me know if there's anything I can work on or anything you'd want to see more of, I'm trying to write more frequently but I also can't write long chapters 🥹. Thank you for reading my story <3.

-Kulfi