CLARITY

| part 4 |

Marinette

I had finished my sandwich and came back to his house. By the time I got there it was about to be sunset. Christian should be back from practice now.

They leave a spare key under one of their flowers in the garden, I used it to open the door for years now. Ms. Nore is still at work and her husbands overseas.

*click*

I open the door and hide the key back where I found it and walk inside. As I put my shoes down I saw Christian in the doorway.

"Hey, back so early?" I ask, his practice was ending around now but it would still take him ten mins to walk home.
"Yeah, I wanted to be home before you were. How are you? Did you like the sandwich?" He says.
"Honestly, I feel like a mess. But the sandwich did make me feel a bit better so thank you." I said. My heads in all sorts of places. Im stressed about school. I'm stressed about what to do with my feelings for him. I'm stressed on where the hell my mother is and where she plans on moving us. I'm stressed about what my father might do if he finds us. I'm just so. SO. FUCKING. STRESSED.

But I didn't say that to him.

These were burdens I kept to myself or in my journal. I walked over to him and said how i'm just really stressed out with everything and he gave me a long hug.

"Everything is going to be okay, okay?" He whispers against my head.
I respond with a small nod, not wanting to speak in fear of choking on my words or my voice giving away how scared I really was. I still haven't told him I'm moving, thought he deserves to know.

Christian

"Christian?" She whispers in my chest.
"Yes Mari?" I say.
"There's something I haven't told you," She tries to say, her voice choking between each word. She lifted her face up at me, tears in her eyes.
"That's okay, what happened?" I ask, trying to leave her a safe space to tell me.
We sit down on the floor, our backs against the wall.
"I'm moving." She says, staring into him for some sign. A sign that he'll help her. That It's some sort of dream they can just wake up out of.

Those two words burn through him everyday. Words that ruined him. Words that left him undone.

The following days had been a blur of tears and trying to help Mari without falling apart himself.

*present day*

Beep. Beep. Can this shit shut the fuck up? It's the first day of university. I'd honestly be excited if it wasn't for the fact that I have to start it without her. I've been getting better of not thinking of her everyday, but university was one thing we'd been looking forward to going to together for years.

I kept my promise of going to Oxford. I'm not even sure why, I guess part if me hopes she comes. I hates myself for that. She left me. She left and never looked back. I sent letters to her everyday, texts to her everyday, she never responded. At some point I had to stop. I moved to England last summer and started afresh.

_________________
Hey guys! I'm going to try to write more often, I know it's been a while and I kinda became unmotivated but I realized I haven't even gotten to the good parts yet. After this point its all present day things (besides from some flashbacks of course). Please send some support, I'm also going to be posting on tiktok more.

                 -Love, Kulfi