the best fix for 2 am sadness is cookies (or maybe just friendly company)

start notes- 

i wrote this before i read rule of wolves, so i mostly just chose to ignore the king of scars part of the timeline. this was originally posted on my ao3 (@/salemisntdead) like 3 months ago. If anyone is super OOC, I apologise, I'm not good at picking up on personality traits, from book people or real.

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Nina Zenik knew pain, she knew the feeling of a broken bone and remembered intimately the feeling when she was working off the parem from her system, but no matter what she went through, she thought the pain of grief and heartbreak had hurt the most, it burned from her inside out and stung when she woke alone.

And this felt like one such night. She had jolted awake from a nightmare and, in that moment, forgotten that there was nobody else there to comfort her. She rolled over, half expecting to be met by the warmth of Matthias, only to find the cold blankets of her bed. She'd cried then, just laid there curling around one of her pillows wishing that she could just open her eyes and see him there, even just once more.

Nina knew it was a foolish hope, that no matter who she prayed and wished to, he wouldn't be coming back, but it didn't stop her from hoping. Her waking like that had been how she ended up down in the kitchen at 2 in the morning, sitting at the kitchen table and crying into her mug of tea.

She'd walked down from her room, unable to lie there alone, and set the kettle on the stove, taking out the things she needed to make tea. She almost grabbed down two mugs out of reflex, then just leaned against the bench as tears welled up in her eyes again.

As she sat at the table in silence, the only sound being the ever-present bustle of the city outside, she barely thought anything, only how painfully alone she felt. How even though she had Inej and Wylan and Jesper and Genya, hell, even Kaz and Zoya, she still felt completely and utterly alone. Saints, she hated being in love with Matthias because no matter how many people she saw die before, his death hurt like a bullet to the chest, and it hurt that badly because she loved him, and love hurt.

A creak from the stairs broke Nina from her silent rumination, and she looked up to see Inej standing in the doorway, dressed in her night clothes with a jumper thrown over to ward away the chill of the night.

"I heard you walking down earlier," Inej said, her voice still a little rough from sleep, walking to the bench and pouring herself a glass of water. "Figured you might want company." Inej gestured to the empty chair to Nina's left. Nina gave a thumbs up and Inej sat down, a sigh emanating from the smaller girl as she ran a hand through the hair that had become loose as she slept.

"So," Inej started softly, "want to talk about it?"

Nina just shook her head, not trusting herself to speak, knowing that if she did, she'd end up crying again, and then she'd feel even worse in the morning than she knew she would already.

"It's alright, we don't have to talk about it now." Inej says, not questioning Nina's silent responses, just leaning over and resting her head on Nina's shoulder, Nina leaning her own on Inej's shoulder. The pair sit in silence for a few minutes before they hear muffled voices and two more sets of footsteps wandering down the stairs.

"... don't get it, chocolate chips are the best thing for cookies." She heard Jesper's voice come into range.

"Yes, but may I raise you: caramel and white chocolate." Wylan whispered back.

Both Inej and Nina sat in silence, waiting for the boys to notice they were sitting there, trying not to laugh when Jesper or Wylan made an amusing point.

It took a few minutes of hushed arguing for the boys to finally realise that they were not indeed alone in the kitchen, although neither looked surprised to see Nina nor Inej there, despite the early hour.

"Took you long enough," Inej said, looking up. Gesturing vaguely to the stove, she continued. "Kettle should still be hot if you want it for your cookies."

♥♥♥

They ended up all sitting in that kitchen until sunrise when Kaz finally joined them. He stalked into the room, walking straight for the coffee jar set on the bench, gazing over his crows, all asleep against the tabletop, all touching in some way, Jesper holding in each hand Wylan's and Nina's hands, Inej laying with her head against Nina's shoulder.

By the time they awoke later that morning, Kaz was nowhere to be seen, the only evidence that he had been there with them being the extra empty mug and plate by the sink, discarded to be washed later.

Although the night had been so hard, Nina felt better than she had in days, coming to realise it was because she got to be around those she loved again, and although she would always miss Matthias, she knew that she wouldn't be alone forever, even if she felt like she would.

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End Notes- 

Comment what you thought of this :) (also if you think there was anything I could have done better/ more accurately, I'm mostly new to writing).