The Obligatory Super Bowl Ad

164 1 0
                                    

Atop Paramount Mountain, a trip to the Super Bowl is about to begin...with a little help, that is.

Mailbox: Alright, guys. Hit it!
(Beavis and Butthead use chainsaws to carve out a huge section of the mountain that has wheels, a long couch, and a driver's seat installed into it, with Molly, Blue, Cy-Blue, Alex, Mailbox, Gil, Finn, Deema, Brobee, Marshall, Shine, and Abby all chilling on the couch while eating snacks.)
Molly: We're going to the Super Bowl!
Finn: Yes, yes, YES!!
Gil: This is gonna be SICK!
Shine: Boom Zarahmay! Biggest game of the day!
Deema: Woo-hoo! Out onto the open road we goooo!
Alex: Big Game, here we come! Hey, Blue. Could you pass me a nacho?
Blue: Gotcha, Al!
(She tosses one over and Alex takes a bite.)
Alex: (munches on it) Oh, MAN. That's good!

Frenchy: A few hours later...

(Abby puts her hand out for a chip, but Marshall sees there's none left. Abby sighs as she turns to the gang.)
Abby: Guys, we're out of snacks.
Molly: No problem, everybody. We'll just get some more. GIMME THE WHEEL!
(Molly drives a bit too recklessly as the mountain car crashes into a grocery store, where Beavis and Butthead are seen with a familiar face.)
Beavis: Hey, everyone! Look at this! Heh heh.
Butthead: Yeah. A-huh-huh. Look who we found.

Terry Bradshaw: Hey, guys! Who's up for some snacks?!
Finn: No way! It's really him! It's...
Brobee and Shine: (both fangirling out) Terry Bradshaw?!!
Terry: Yep, and I've got some Doritos and some Mtn Dew!
Marshall: Guys, I think I know just where to put him: somewhere extreme!
(Everyone gasps, including Beavis and Butthead, who drop all their chips and dips.)
Marshall: Oh, and don't worry. He'll have a friend up there with him so he won't get lonely.
Terry: Sounds like a plan, Marshall. Let's do it!

(Cut to Terry and Abby chilling out together on a 2-seater recliner on top of the car.)
Terry & Abby: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Terry: This is like a convertible!
Abby: But a lot more airy and warm on the top!
(They clink their cans of Dew as they drink.)

(Cut back to everyone in the car jamming out to Olivia Rodrigo's "Good 4 U".)
Everyone: 🎶 Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy.
Not me, if you ever cared to ask!
Good for you, you're doing great out there. Without me, baby!
God, I wish that I could do that! 🎶

(Cut again to Terry and Abby jamming out as well, with Abby vocalizing, and Terry going a tad off-beat with the song.)
Terry: 🎶 I've lost my mind, I've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom! 🎶
Abby: 🎶 La la la la, da da dee da! Da dee da da dee la la la la! 🎶

And through an epic mountain-car, our brave intrepid heroes are off. Off to the Super Bowl, to star in a commercial, to promote their mountain of entertainment.

And guess what? This IS that commercial!

Off to the Super Bowl or bust!
(Insert date of this year's Super Bowl here.)

Return To Paramount MountainWhere stories live. Discover now