My Heart Beats Again

Part 8 ~ He's In My Mind

"Bani?"

I hear Hokil's voice on the other side of the door. My head is buried in my knees and I don't move or respond. So he knocks.

"What," I mumble. It's been quite a while since I stopped crying and I'm a little hurt that he hasn't bothered to check on me until now.

"I'm coming in."

He enters the room and sits himself across from me, knees up like mine. I peek at him through my legs and wait for him to say something, but he's as silent as I am. Something about it feels intimate and comforting, and we just sit there and enjoy each other's company. He smiles, and I can't help but feel a bit better.

"I can't walk," I say finally.

"Sweetheart, I know. That's to be expected." I lift my head up and look him in the eyes.

"I don't like it." He chuckled. "It's not funny." I glare at him. "I can't WALK. What if I stay like this forever?"

"You won't."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. You're a fighter. You've overcome much tougher things than this."

I lift my chin and narrow my eyes at him. He's right, but of course I don't like it coming from his mouth.

"Oh, and there's one more thing you should know," Hokil moves over so that he's sitting next to me now instead of across from me.

"What?" I ask suspiciously. How many more news bombs will I have to mentally suffer through?

"You're still speaking Malayalam. That's why the lackeys don't understand you."

"What the hell are you on about now?" I complain. "Whatever on earth else am I supposed to be speaking? English??"

"No, Khalkha. We're in Mongolia." I blink, confused.

"No we're not," I say dumbly. "And I don't even speak Khalkha."

"Yes you do," He responded. And something about his voice changed. It was like before, with the guard outside my room. And all the times I spoke with Hokil's servants, when something was off but I couldn't quite place it.

"Since when did I learn to speak a whole language?" I ask, my voice trembling. That feeling I've had so often recently takes over me, the panic of not knowing or understanding anything.

"Bani, you can't remember the past 2 years of your life before the accident. A lot can happen in that time."

My mind is racing again, trying to process everything he is telling me. I want to accuse him of lying again, but there's no possible way he can make me understand an entire language as part of his elaborate ruse.

"How long have we lived here?" I ask, dumbfounded.

"Four and a half years." Hokil lets out a heavy breath. "One and a half years before your coma."

I sit and ponder for a bit, trying to figure what to ask next out of the hundred questions in my mind. "Well, I should be letting you get your rest," Hokil says, standing up.

"But wait, I have more questions," I protest.

"It will have to wait for tomorrow. You must sleep and build up your energy for tomorrow. Doctor Phinalstin will need to do extensive therapy with you. I imagine it will be exhausting." He leans over and helps me up, steadying me with his strong grip. I hobble over to the bed with his help, and he tucks me under the covers as if I were a baby.

"And please, don't fight him this time," He says pleadingly. "I want my wife healthy and back at my side as soon as possible."

I open my mouth to retort that I'm not his wife, but I don't know what's real anymore and honestly I'm too tired to fight it.

"Goodnight Bani," he whispered, placing a light kiss on my cheeks. I don't say it back, but I don't protest to him kissing me either. Instead I just close my eyes and force back a smile.

Stop it, I think to myself drowsily. I don't trust him. I don't TRUST him. I don't... Trust. . .