My Heart Beats Again

Part 3 ~ I hate you

When I woke up the second time, it took me a moment to remember where I was. A bit of light is streaming through the crack between the window and the gray curtain that shadowed it. I carefully sit up, and my headache immediately reminds me of its presence. I can see shapes of furniture from the dim light, but no noise from anywhere. Thoughts slowly start to form in my mind.

I could run away. Should I run away? What if this actually is my home? There's no way. I wake up in a strange bed, meet all these strange people who won't let me see my parents and I just conveniently don't remember anything about living here. The more I think about it, the stupider I feel for doubting myself.

I throw back the covers and stand up. Again my legs fail me, but this time I grab the bed before I hit the ground too hard. Taking a few steady breaths, I attempt to rise again, but my legs don't move. I try over and over, until they are quivering from exertion. I fight the urge to cry. I don't know why, but my legs don't work. At all. Maybe I was drugged, and the effect will wear off eventually. Or maybe I was drugged and it will never wear off. Maybe Hokil, if that's really his name, wants to incapacitate me. I give up after a few more tries, and crawl on my hands and feet around the side of the bed.

There are doors on both sides of the bed, but instinctively I feel that the one on my side must be a bathroom. So I crawl over to the other one, and sit up on my knees to reach the handle. Turning it slowly, I discover it to be unlocked, and it opens easily. On the other side I see the extravagant dining room that I was carried through last night, at the end of a long hall. No one is around, but the lights are on. I crawl out into the hall.

"Miss Bani, what are you doing?" I shriek at the unexpected voice, and a face appears in front of me. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to scare you." He reaches out his hand to me. "Can you stand?" Something is off about his voice, the way he says his words. It doesn't sound right.

"No, I can't walk at all." He wrinkles his face in confusion.

"What?"

"What do you mean, what? I spoke perfectly clearly," I say, annoyed.

"Why are you talking-"

"Bani!" A voice cries out from across the room somewhere, interrupting him. "Attendant, I told you to tell me when she wakes up."

It's Hokil, and he looks sternly at the man, who dips his head and apologies. Hokil doesn't even notice as he lays his eyes on me and rushes to my side. "Bani, how are you feeling?" His tone with me is entirely different, softer and gentler. He is trying so hard to get me to let my guard down, and it's much scarier than if he were to yell at me.

"I'm fine," I grumble, looking at the ground. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me up. "What are you doing?" I demand.

"Hush, Bani, you can't walk. I'm just helping you."

"Where are you taking me?" He looks at me as if I should know the answer.

"Where were you headed?" I hesitate. Telling him I was going to run away doesn't sound like the safest option.

"To the bathroom," I lied. He carries me back into the bedroom I just left.

"The bathroom is right over here, honey," he tells me, walking over to the other door. Ew, honey. Do we have pet names? He takes me inside and lowers me onto the toilet. "Do you need help with anything?" He smiles earnestly at me.

"Yeah." I raise my arm and point at the door. "Shut it on your way out." His face freezes for a second, then he lets out a little chuckle.

"Of course."