Steddie (Love like torture*<3

Down with me

1,987 Words

Eddie X Steve
First Person (Eddie's POV)

(This story will contain Homophobic slurs, hints of sex, and extensive cursing: please don't read if any of this will make you uncomfortable!)

We stopped talking for a while. He betrayed my trust. He betrayed me. Steve slowly faded from my core memories as I began to focus on things that I enjoyed. Things I didn't need him for. Music, Concerts, and of course the Hellfire Club, we recruited new members into the club, which is when I met Dustin and Mike Wheeler. I was alone at lunch, Gareth was sick once again, Jeff had Detention, and I was there alone. I saw the two at a table, Mike looked relatively normal, shaggy hair, blue jeans, and a school shirt. However, Dustin is what made me curious, he was wearing the usual blue jeans, but with a baseball cap for a science camp, and a white Weird Al "Like a Surgeon" shirt. Nobody in this school ever wore shirts for anything other than Madonna and The Beatles. So seeing someone with a unique music taste always made me want to be their friend. Anyways, they were pretty good at DND so I thought they would be a great future for Hellfire. However, things were difficult. Sometimes, when the club got in trouble, we didn't get our club room, so there were campaigns that had to be held at Mike's house. I would hear Nancy call for mike, saying diner was ready, or that his mom needed him, and I was always scared she would come downstairs and yell at me saying something like;
"Are you serious?! Did you really sleep with Steve?" In tears. It's not like she would've known. But I still didn't want her to find out and hate me. Nancy didn't deserve what we did.

I always felt sick being in a room with her. Was I a terrible person for getting with him? They had broken up with each other like, a year ago. So why did I feel bad? Sometimes, you cant fully hate someone, until they do something to fuck over someone else over. And after I found out about the whole movie theater "slut" incident, I hated him. If anything, he was the slut for messing around with me every time they broke up, or everytime they were on break. It wasn't my fault, was it?

One day, I got a call from Steve on the landline. He spoke clearly
"Eddie, I need to talk to you." He told me, I scoffed, of course he did.
"I don't want to talk to you Steve, unless you're buying something; Fuck off." I replied, I didn't need him. Why would I need him?
"Fine, talk to me and I'll buy something." He replied after hesitating for a moment. And well, business is business, and a rich kid is a rich kid. So, I agreed. It was October, He wore a gray knitted turtleneck, and washed blue jeans. I wore a black long sleeve V-neck, my leather jacket, and black jeans. We met in the forest, he sat on the bench as I approached him.
"What do you want harrington? Even buying drugs from me won't make me a prostitute."  I asked, sitting on the top of the table.
"I don't want you to hate me anymore." he said quietly, almost under his breath. I held back a laugh, too late for that.
"You drive a hard bargain Harrington," I replied, tilting my head looking at him with a small grin. He looked at me for a moment, before looking away from me again. Oh he pissed me off so badly.
"I just wanted you to know, I'm sorry. And after everything with you, I've been trying to get better." He apologized, my face forced itself to have a passive aggressive smile. I raised my eyebrows and slowly nodded.
"Yeah? Well, I'm sorry for the next guy you fuck to come to terms with what gender you're more attracted to." I replied with a heavy sigh. He sat there staring into my eyes. He slowly started leaning closer, while I leaned away. He squinted before asking
"Did you seriously come here high?" He asked, noticing the redness in my eyes.
"No, but clearly you wouldn't be able to tell. I was high every time I hooked up with your sorry ass." I said with a snicker. Laying down, with my back pressed against the table.

He rolled his eyes standing up.
"Now who's the one here who won't have a normal conversation?" He said to me, I wasn't listening. I was busy staring at the big beautiful sky. It was late at night, and cold.
"Lay with me Harrington." I said reaching into my pocket and pulling out a cigarette and lighter. He looked down at me before getting onto the table and laying next to me. I put the cigarette to my mouth and lit it. We sat silently. I smoked, as he thought to himself.
"Are you sorry for Nancy too?" I asked, breaking the silence. He looked at me quietly, thinking of what to say before sighing and shaking his head.
"We weren't together when we did those things. We dated for like, a few months with alot of breaks, and breakups in between." he explained. Both of us had a weight lifted off our chests. I shook my head, he didn't see me how I saw myself, did he? I asked him,
"So I'm not a disgusting, Gay, homewrecker?" He shook his head in return.
"No, not to me." I looked away from the sky, and directed my attention to him. Gently holding a smile on my face.
"And I'm not a faggot?" I asked. He shook his head once again.
"What are you doing to experiment now?" I asked before he went quiet. Which told me he hadn't been doing anything. I stood up on the table looking down at him.
"Tsk- God fucking damnit Harrington! If you're pent up, do not come to me about it. I'm gay, not stupid." I reminded him and he went quiet again.

"Your silence is speaking volumes Stevie. You're not sorry are you?? You're just horny or something!" I said tossing my cigarette onto the table and stepping on it, putting it out.
"No Eddie- please, I'm sorry!"
"I don't buy it Harrington." I said loudly. He rolled off the table with a grunt before standing up.
"You don't trust anyone." Steve said, crossing his arms before pointing at me.
"No, I don't trust guys like you." I said getting down from the table, walking over to him and shoving him.
"What do you mean 'Guys like me"? You're being such an asshole."
"Guys who sleep with other guys and, Psh, I don't know, fucking talk shit about them to people like Billy? Are you trying to get me killed?" I yelled, strain in my voice as I paused to catch my breath.
"Just because you became friends with some sexually confused kids you play hero for, doesn't make you a better person. It just makes you a over qualified Nanny," I said walking close to him, kissing his cheek with a small grin.
"See ya later, Alligator." I said with a small wave before walking away. No. Absolutely not. I would not let Steve fucking Harrington ruin my mood, my progress, change who I am, I wont let him hurt me any further.

After my talk with him, I did feel better. I could hang around Mike without feeling guilty for fucking his sister's ex boyfriend. Which was sick (in a good way). I spent time with friends, and worked on my music. I did everything but get someone else to love. Because now Steve was my type. The body hair, build, and personality was everything I wanted. The worst part of Steve is if he begged to kiss me in the school bathroom, I would be head over heels. He fooled me once, and I know damn well he could fool me 1000 more times. He could kick sand in my eyes and beat me to the floor calling me a unlovable fag and I would still get jealous seeing him flirt with every girl he lands his hands on, wishing his hands were on me. I understand now how every girl at school thought he was a treat.

Steve Harringotn is like your favorite food, you love it more than anything else on the menu, but sometimes, you can try something else on the menu. And keep trying new things until you do get a new favorite. So, that's exactly what I did. I don't think you understand how easy it is to get hookups with guys at concerts. They were all incredibly boring, nobody I thought would be interesting, was. We never even made it past foreplay. They were not genuine, they either tried too hard, or didn't try at all to excite me. I get bored easily, it's not hard to push me off the edge. And seeing Steve with that boy Billy is irritating, Steve annoys me so much it justifies me hating him. He clearly wants Billy, and I hate it.

I don't know who plays slut better, me, or him. I want to play slut better than him. Because I deserve it. He doesn't. I wish more people recoiled when they saw his body. I want him for myself.

He eyes Billy like some treat. It's annoying. Billy obviously likes women, clearly im not the only one in the relationship that seeked out unstable relationships.. I thought maybe I should Tell Steve to not do that to himself, which was a bad idea. One day at school I pulled Steve aside in the hallway, taking him to the bathroom and into a large stall. He stared at me confused before I started,
"I can tell you like Billy." I told him, and he continued to stare at me blankly.
"I just want to tell you, don't do that to yourself. It'll be hell chasing after him." I continued, Steve just stared at me in disbelief.
"Who the hell said I like Billy? I'll kick their ass. Billy is fucking crazy." Steve said, now sounding genuinely annoyed.
"Don't deny it! I see how you look at him." I said, now sounding more worried.
"Oh stop playing savior! "The way I look at him,' you mean with fear, annoyed? Sure." he said, shoving me.
"You're a liar!" I yelled back at him.
"You're pathetic Eddie. Giving me a cold shoulder and then becoming a jealous asshole. Pick what you want to be already." Steve said, pushing me against the wall walking up to me, out chests pressing firmly together.
"I just- I just want you to be happy Steve.." I replied.
"That's hard when you're the only thing making me happy. Even when you're a freaky jerk you make me happy." Steve scolded.
"Shut up." I said, closing my eyes and shaking my head.
"No, I won't." he said, placing a hand onto my cheek and caressing it. He knew how much I needed him. And I knew how much he wanted me. It's not like anyone else at this school was better than me.

He stared at me and I slowly opened my eyes, looking back at him.
"Everyone would hate you. Your friends, Nancy, mommy and daddy." I reminded him. He chuckled and shook his head. He placed both of his hands on my cheeks.
"I don't care." he said, which made my heart flutter. I grinned and put my hands on his shoulders, walking forwards and pushing his back against the stall door. I leaned in and kissed him with all the passion I had been saving up since the last time I got to hold him. He knew exactly what I wanted from him. And he was finally giving me it.

You know what they always say, an addict always goes back to an addiction at some point. I just hope this ecstasy lasts.

[END OF CHAPTER 2]
(this is not the end of the fic.)