duty & sacrifice | House Of The Dragon.

iii. A distant memory.

132 AC

A few moons had passed since the incident with the hand and his suspicions of me. I had been on edge since. I had made sure to do all of chores when I knew the hand was not close. I had made sure to be as discreet as possible. I lurked in the shadows to stay away from the limelight. But at times it was impossible to be discreet. For example now. The queen decided to hold a larger feast than usual, most likely to celebrate her son, Daeron's birthday, who wasn't even going to be there. When I heard I silently cussed. I was due to dye my hair. My silver roots were becoming more noticeable day by day, and if that was not a big enough reminder, I also had Odessa nagging me daily.

Being pulled out of my thoughts by a nudge on my shoulder I soon realised how close I was to the grand dining hall, where the feast was to be held. I instinctually touched the roots of my hair, which seemed to catch Odessa's attention as she walked past me in the opposite direction. 

"Shit" I mumbled. 

I bent down to the ground and covered my fingers in dark dust before placed the dust on the roots of my hair. I carefully placed the dark substance throughout my hair and then began walking closer to the dining hall with two large jugs of wine.

As I neared the entrance to the hall, one of the kingsgaurd opened the door. I nodded my head thankfully and quietly entered. There was a light tune playing, and a soft chatter coming from the queen, who seemed to be talking about her very few fond memories of her youngest son, Daeron. 

I leaned over the table more than necessary, due to curiosity. I knew very few things about my young relative. I had heard that he was clever and courteous, but also a bit of a menace to his family in Oldtown. 

"His most recent he letter states that he wishes to come and visit" The queen whispered to her father. 

"Tell him that is not possible at the moment" Her father replied carelessly. I soon realised how long I had been leaning in the same place and I quickly stood up straight. But in the process I knocked a cup of wine. I grimaced and fixed my eyes shut in preparation for my head to be cut off, right then and there. But it did not come. I slowly opened my eyes to see everyone in discussion. I looked over and noticed the young princess Helaena holding the cup in place.

"My apologies princess." I said as I curtsied deeply. 

Yet she did not reply, instead she continued staring into the oblivion.

I walked out of the hall and walked to the busy kitchen.

I entered the kitchen and noticed Odessa there, barking orders forcing everyone out. As soon as the kitchen had cleared out Odessa quickly seethed through her teeth "You silly girl!" I had slightly flinched at her harshness. "I'm sorry" I said as I looked down at my feet in shame. "You know of the consequences to your actions. You know of the punishments that you will face if your secret that your mother worked so desperately to hide comes out" Her voice lowered at the mention of the last part of her sentence. "You know this, yet you act as if you don't. You know who and what you are, and know that due to this you must be extra careful" She continued even on the verge of tears.

Though I was only a girl of ten and three, I still knew the significance of just how important keeping my true identity a secret was. But just this time I had tested my limits far too much. I knew at the time, that I shouldn't have leaned so close, or listened to the queens conversation, yet I did,

"I am sorry" I spoke once again. I now finally had the courage to meet eyes with the elder woman in front of me. Her gaze slightly softened. "Your mother really tried to hide who you really were. She knew that if anyone found out, horrible things would occur. People would call you names, people would try to kill you because you have things they don't, people would kill you because they would see you as a threat, and people would kill you just because they can" She spoke again. 

I nodded as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Go to bed" Odessa finished as she caressed my cheek.