The Crash

Chapter 4

It's been a couple of days since the arraignment. Thankfully, my lawyer took care of everything, so I didn't actually have to appear in court personally. I don't know if I could have handled it right now, having all those judging eyes on me.

I'm already all over the news and in every paper. I've been avoiding watching TV because I really don't want to see my terrible mugshot along with a flashing banner reminding me how much of a monster I am. I know I made a dumb mistake. I'm going to live my life not ever being able to let it down.

From what I heard from Mom, my lawyer is trying to conduct a plea deal to get me the least amount of time. I'm still looking at 2-8 years, but we're aiming for the 2-3 range. By taking a plea deal, we avoid going to trial and risking getting the maximum sentence. Still, time is time, and I'm going to have to go to prison regardless.

I've never been to a public school or been in a fight. I'm not blind to the things that go on in these kinds of institutions. I know that women are catty and ruthless and will instigate drama at the drop of the hat. I know that jails and prisons are over-run with drugs and hooch, half of the girls high all the time. I've seen the way they treat each other on TV, stealing each other's things and ratting out one another just for the sake of getting someone in trouble. I'm nothing like those girls and never will be.

I see horror stories on TV of what's it's like being locked up, and I don't know if I can handle it. I guess I don't have a choice because I'll be getting on that prison bus one way or another.

My phone sits on my nightstand, haunting me. I haven't had the bravery to turn it on yet and see what the world is saying about me. I'm not sure I even want to know. I'm afraid it will break me.

Here goes nothing.

I press the power button, turning the phone on and accepting my fate, whatever that may be. The screen lights up, and immediately, I'm flooded with notifications. I brace myself for what I'm about to see. I check Facebook first. My inbox is flooded with messages from strangers-some kind and compassionate, others hateful and judging. A few friends have posted on my timeline full of support, while others have shared my news story with hurtful words.

I'm torn between feeling lifted up and knocked down. I knew seeing all this would be hard, but it just makes it all that more real, knowing everyone knows. From what I read on Facebook, half of the people think I'm a cold-blooded, heartless murderer. The other half believes it's just a really sad story and everyone makes mistakes. I'm not sure which side I'm on, to be honest.

I see a message pop up from my best friend, Tate.

Tate: Alex, you're home! How'd that happen?

Alex: I got bailed out. I'm not sure how Mom and Gran came up with the money because my bond was a hundred thousand dollars.

Tate: Does that mean it's all over?

Alex: No. It's just the beginning. I still have sentencing and have a mandatory prison sentence. My lawyer says I'm looking at 2-8 years minimum. He's going to try to get me a plea deal so I get the minimum. We're really trying to avoid going to trial.

Tate: That sucks. I was hoping you were out for good. I can't imagine what you're going through. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. You are a strong woman, though, and I know you're going to make it to the other side. Who knows, you might even come out a better person. I promise I will write you whenever I can.

Alex: Thanks. That means a lot.

Tate: How's your mom and Gran holding up?

Alex: They're doing okay. Mom is taking it hard, but I think Gran kind of has her head in the clouds. Knowing her, it's probably her coping mechanism.