The Crash

Chapter 5

The judge hits his gavel on the heavy, solid wood desk. His eyes are blank, probably a heavily practiced poker face.

"You are being charged with one count of vehicular homicide and are hereby sentenced to two years in prison."

I stare at the judge, feeling grateful that I got the minimum sentence, but also upset because today is the day that I am officially losing everything. My mom, Gran, and Banjo. I'm so sorry.

I remember leaving the house and hugging my dog for the last time. He looked at me with questioning eyes and followed me all the way to the doorstep. I felt like I was leaving behind a piece of me. I've literally talked to him about all my problems. I know he never understood because he's a dog, but he never judged me or loved me any less. I never had to prove myself to him.

It was a little bit different with Mom and Gran. After they got the phone call, Mom cried her eyes out, and Gran just kept reassuring me that I was going to get through this. I felt like I had to make it up somehow to prove I was still the daughter they always had.

Sometimes, I despise Gran's optimism and her inability to see the reality of a situation. It makes me feel like I'm making a bigger deal out of it than it really is, like my pain doesn't matter. I guess it's a good thing, though, that she isn't as upset as Mom is. I'm not sure her body could handle all the stress. I wouldn't want to be the cause of something happening to her. I wouldn't be able to deal with that on top of everything else. I feel bad enough as is.

I look out at the crowd and catch a glimpse of Mom and Gran, sitting in the first row. Mom wipes a tear as she looks at me lovingly, then nods to show her support.

Those are the only two people who don't look like they want me dead.

My victim's family are all wearing matching white t-shirts with my victim's face on them and a sad catchphrase. I feel sick. I feel like a monster. I just want to close my eyes and open them to find myself back at home in the comfort of my own bed. My anxiety is through the roof, and I feel like nothing I say in the court room matters.

An officer walks up to me and motions for me to put my hands behind my back. I obey her orders, remembering how much I hate the feeling of the harsh metal against my wrists. Goodbye, Mom. Goodbye, Gran.

She leads me to a door on the side of the room and escorts me to the county jail where I will meet my demise and rot until there's nothing left of me.

* * *

Oh, the familiar room behind the glass. My lawyer says I'll stay here for a couple of days until the prison bus comes to pick up everyone who unfortunately made the cut. I wonder how many other girls are going to be riding out with me. It seems like most of the girls here in the country jail are in here for misdemeanors. I wish I was that lucky, if that could be considered luck.

I spot Tee and Amber sitting at a metal table playing cards. Amber is sitting cross-legged very seductively, twirling a strand of her curly hair. I swear, she has no sense of where she is. I'm surprised she and Tee don't have a thing. They sure hang out enough, and Amber seems like the type to take any attention she can get. Tee seems like the type to take advantage of anyone throwing themselves her way.

"Hey there, Little Baby. Amber calls cheerfully.

Oh, I have a nickname already. I grimace to myself. This is not good. They're treating me like one of them already. I'll never be one of them. I'm Alex, the private school student, the artist, the girl who has never done drugs let alone hit a joint.

"We missed you." Amber says, "We wondered what happened. I figured either you got bailed out or they let you go. Obviously, I was happy for you, but I wish you had said something before you left."