The Crash

Chapter 19

Class starts in five minutes. I anxiously await Sam's entrance. I'm so nervous. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act now that we're together. Are we supposed to hold hands? Or are we supposed to take it slow? I have no idea how these things work in here. Even on the outs, I hear lesbians tend to take things quicker than people in straight relationships.

I've never been with a woman before, so this is completely new territory to me. I'm not going to lie, it's a little more nerve-racking than dating a guy. I know it can't be much different than being with a guy, but I can't help but wonder about the sex part. How exactly does that work? Do we do that in here? I'm going to be horrible at everything. I really hope I'm not the first girl she's turned out.

Sometimes, I worry that it can only go downhill from here.

I will admit, I've fallen for her really fast; a lot faster than any of the guys I dated. It's scary and thrilling at the same time. I'm completely infatuated.

Sam walks in. Here we go.

"Hey, Alex." She says with a wink.

My heart skips. God, I love when she does that.

"Oh, hey Sam."

Try to be nonchalant. Try to be nonchalant. Try to be nonchalant.

"I missed you."

Warmth creeps up my cheeks into a rosy hue. Totally not nonchalant.

"I missed you too." I say.

And I mean it. Every second we're apart feels like an hour. Hours feel like days. It's torture.

She sits down and puts her books on the floor. She only leaves her binder and a ballpoint pen on the table.

"You're probably going to need that book." I state.

"I figured we could share yours." She says with a smile.

Everyone is going to know. Everyone is going to be talking about us. So much for being discreet.

Ms. Vaughn walks to the center of the room, in front of the chalkboard. She's wearing a navy blue striped shirt to day with khaki slacks and black ballet flats. I really miss normal clothes. I'm tired of wearing these dumb uniforms.

"Today, we're going to be going over chapter five in your textbooks. Please turn to page 68 now."

Sam leans over, and I slide my book to the middle so we both can read it.

I can feel her warm breath on my ear, sending chills down my spine. The inside of her arm is pressed to my shoulder, and I can't tell if I love it or if I feel awkward. I mean, I love it, but it's a bit weird doing this stuff after just being friends.

She looks at me, giving another wink. She's absolute trouble.

"Just so you know, we have to keep our PDA on the down low. The guards will yell at us for it, and we could get in trouble. Don't worry too much, though, we'll be fine as long as we aren't obvious about it.

I didn't even think about that. Whoops. Better not get caught.

"Oh, okay." I say nervously.

What is she expecting? I'm not sure I'm ready for all of this yet.

*    *   *

Class is dismissed, and Sam and I say our goodbyes. Before she leaves, she reaches for my hand under the table and gives it a squeeze. My palms sweat. I squeeze her hand back, proud that I reciprocated my first romantic gesture with a woman.

"Meet me on the yard on Friday after dinner." Sam says. "I'll be waiting."

*    *   *

I'm trying to sleep when I hear one of my neighbor bunkies yelling at the woman next to her.

"Give me my shit back. I know you took it." Says a girl with a high blonde ponytail.

Here we go. This is going to end up turning into another fight. I really don't feel like listening to it. I desperately need to study.

My neighbor bunkie gets in her face, spit flying out of her mouth as she points her finger.

"You're the only one here during the day. Fucking give me my mirror back."

The second girl laughs and gives my neighbor a smirk.

"It wasn't me. Maybe you should stop leaving your shit out."

I mean, she has a point. We are living with a bunch of felons. You can't expect that none of them is a thief.

Seething with rage, the girl with the ponytail takes a step forward, their noses nearly touching.

They kind of look like they're about to kiss. I chuckle to myself quietly.

"Open your fucking lockbox then."

The second girl protests loudly.

"Open it you cunt."

"No, I don't have to do anything you say." Says Ponytail. "You don't run me."

Wow, she really has a mouth on her. So does my neighbor bunkie, if we're already talking about it. I had no idea. I guess people surprise us every day.

My neighbor glares at her, eyes like fire.

"You're such a fucking liar."

Call her ass out!

The second girl laughs again, giving her a shove as she starts to walk away. The first girl grabs her ponytail and yanks her towards her box. She finally opens it, and there lies the altered purple shirt, something you can only get exclusively from completing a certain program here in the prison.

"I knew it. Worthless ass thief. I bet your mom is proud."

Ponytail laughs. "I don't give a fuck about my mom. She's a crackhead."

Well, that was an unexpected turn.

My neighbor picks it up, shakes it in her face, and then storms off. Ponytail looks around nervously, shaking off the embarrassment. I'd be embarrassed, too, if I was caught stealing. Good thing I don't steal. Never have.

Cici walks up next to me.

"What did I miss?"

I look at her out of the side of my eyes. "Someone stole something and got called out about it."

Cici laughs. "That's what she gets for leaving her mirror attached to the bed post. These dumb bitches to it all the time and wonder why their crap gets taken. They forget we are literally living with a bunch of con artists."

I let out a loud laugh, agreeing.

"It isn't my problem, anyway." Cici says, sitting on her bed.

I almost witnessed my second fight. I must have been locked up too long because I'll admit, I was kind of hoping to see one. It gets so boring in here. It's easy to get sucked into the drama. As long as it's not my own.

I grab my cup off of my TV stand and take a sip of the green Kool-Aid I made. What a Night.