Feb-Ibig Project: Oh, To Fall For Him [COMPLETED]

PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE

LOVE... In almost all ofthe romance novels that I have read, love is described as something that feelsso amazing. 'Yung tipong ang gaan-gaan ng pakiramdam mo, 'yung ang saya-saya mona para kang nakalutang sa fluffy clouds.

But of course, hindi ganon kadaling makamit ang ganon kagandang happy ending, ang ganong klaseng love.

Kasi kahit naman sa romance novels, nasasaktan muna sila main characters bago nila ma-realize kung gaano nila kamahal ang isa't isa.

And honestly, that's how I picture love.

It's not something easy to obtain in life. You have to go through a lot of challenges before you can have them. But of course, with a simple-minded teenage girl like me, I do wish to have that kind of love.

And I believe it's with him...

"SO, are you planning to tell him honestly what you feel for him?" Jackie randomly asked as we walked towards our assigned table.

I let out a half smile. "I would want to."

"Then why do you look so hesitant about it?" Her eyebrow even raised as she questioned me.

My eyes roamed around the place, trying to find the guy I had been missing for the past few days. When I failed to find him, I looked back at Jackie. "I don't know. But I really want to tell him. Para na rin naman lumuwag ang dibdib ko."

"You mean your non-existent boobs?" I glared at her, and she just laughed at me. "Kidding. May chocolate hills ka naman compared sa bulubundukin ko." I just rolled my eyes at her. "I was just kidding, Haddy. Mukha ka kasing kabadong-kabado tonight. You should learn how to relax. Paano ka magco-confess niyan if you're trembling?"

I took a deep breath and let it out. "Yeah, looks like I really am," I whispered as I stared at my shaking hands.

Inabot ni Jackie ang mga kamay ko saka iyon minasahe nang marahan. "You'll do just fine, Hadlee. Ikaw pa ba?" Napangiti na lang ako sa sinabi niya. All of a sudden, nagbago ang expression ni Jackie habang nakatingin sa may likuran ko. I was about to ask her what happened or what it was when she got ahead of me. "He's here na." Bigla akong natigilan. Nakalimutan ko pa nga atang huminga nang dahil sa sinabi niya.

He's here. This is it, right? I readied myself for this moment. Nakailang practice ako sa salamin. Ilang oras na memorization ng lines. Para kapag dumating na ako sa oras na ito ay hindi ako magpa-panic katulad ng nangyayari sa akin ngayon.

Nagsimula naman na ang program and all, puro awarding ang simula to the point na ginugusto ko na namang umuwi para magbasa na lang sana ng libro. "Hadlee, tara na. Hindi ka ba kukuha ng pagkain?" dinig kong tanong sa akin ni Jackie.

Saka ko lang na-realize na tapos na ang program at kainan na. Napatingin naman ako sa paligid para hanapin si Nexus. Nang makita ko na siya sa kabilang table ay agad akong umiling kay Jackie. "Mamaya pa ako. Sige na, mauna ka na."

Nag-aalangan siyang tumingin sa akin, pero makikita rin sa mga mata niyang gets niya ang gagawin ko kaya ako tumanggi. "Sigurado ka ba?" Tumango na lang ako saka siya nginitian. "Hmm... Fine, if you say so. Kuha muna ako, kanina pa ako hungry."

Mahina lang akong tumawa saka siya pinanood makalayo sa akin. Nang mawala na si Jackie sa paningin ko ay saka lumipat ang mga mata ko sa lalakeng nakaupo sa kabilang table sa harapan ko.

It's now or never, Had. Baka naman ngayon na yung gabing makakaamin ka na rin. Whether he acknowledges my feelings or not, it's fine. Ang mahalaga ay nasabi ko na ang nararamdaman ko. Besides, I wanna let this go and, at the same time, let him know how much I appreciate his existence.

Napabuga na lamang ako ng hangin saka tumayo na agad ding nahinto nang makita ko siyang nakatingin sa akin at papatayo na rin.

Bigla akong kinabahan. Agad na bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. This feels like deja vu.

This situation makes my brain malfunction. The train of thought I once had was now completely gone. Like poof. Magic. Parang gusto ko na lang tumakas. Lumayas. Ewan, basta parang kailangan kong magpakalayo. Ayoko nang ituloy ito. Lahat ng kailangan kong gawin ngayong gabi, parang gusto kong takasan lahat.

But unfortunately, we can't do that, Had. It is what it is. What should be done has to be done.

I took a deep breath in and composed myself. But no matter how hard I tried to calm myself, I ended up just staring at him. Tila naging robot ako at walang utak na naglalakad papalapit sa kaniya.

Am I seriously gonna do this? Do I really have to do this? I mean past is past, right? I shook my head. I need this. For me. Hindi ko malaman kung niloloko ako ng mga mata ko pero parang naglalakad din siya papalapit sa akin. Holy cow. Am I assuming ba or is it really happening?

His eyes were still locked on mine. Still can't process this well. Is he seriously, really, like very much legit looking at me? Straight in the eyes? As in ba?

The rest of the people — the venue — became a blur. Nexus was the only one I could clearly see. So, this really happens sa real life, huh?

Nahigit ko ang paghinga ko nang finally — after what seemed to be an eternity — I was finally standing in front of Nexus Cairo. I was finally staring straight into his sparkling brown eyes. "Nexus..."

"Hadlee..."

Wala na akong iba pang marinig kundi ang mabilis at malakas na tibok ng puso ko. Parang gusto niyang kumawala mula sa katawan ko.

"I—" Sabay kaming nagsalita kaya pareho rin kaming natigilan. "Ikaw na—" pareho ulit naming sabi.

Nagsisimula na namang mabuo ang pangamba sa isip ko. Is it really the right time to say this? Bakit naman kasi parang against ang situation? Sabay pa kaming magsalita, hindi ko tuloy masabi ang gusto kong sabihin.

This is it, Hadlee. You can do this. You've already made up your mind, right? All you have to do is say those words and then it's done.

Nexus Cairo... If you ever hear these words — If I ever collected enough courage to say these, right here, right now, I just want you to know how much I've wanted to let them out for quite some time now. Baka ngayon ko lang siya masabi so, please, listen carefully. And Hadlee, please say them already.

Huminga ako nang malalim. Kailangan ko nangsabihin para matapos na. Gusto ko nang malabas ito — I have to. "Nexus..." Please do know na... "Gusto kita."

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