What if your all-time crush wants your help?
Help for what?- You might ask.
But for Saumya it's something that will tear her into pieces- her crush needs all the help he can get to propose to his to-be girlfriend and Saumya would do it. Why? Becaus...
"What is this Saumya?" My professor asks as she places all my mid-term papers in front of me. Most of the papers were borderline passes. I look at her feeling guilty about my antics.
"You do understand that your grades have gone down a significant amount. Right?" She asks me concern evident in her voice. I don't even bat an eyelid at her words. I didn't get marks simply because I didn't study.
"Sorry Ma'am." Words escape from my mouth in a low voice. She exhales a deep breath and takes out her specs.
"Is something bothering you?" She asks me as she looks at me annoyed. I nod my head indicating a no.
"If this carry's on you might fail this semester. I am warning you." She tells me and politely asks me to get out of her cabin.
Once am out I exhale a sigh.
"What happened?" I hear shruthi's voice from beside me and it freaks me out. But I compose myself and answer her the apparent.
"Is Aarav distracting you?" She asks me unabashed.
"Yeah," I exhale another breath." We keep talking together late at night. I lack sleep as well." I tell her as we walk to the classroom.
"You need to concentrate." She tells me as I nod to her words.
Has Aarav really been distracting me?
" When do the finals start?" I ask Shruthi.
"There is still time, but better start preparing now." She tells me and throughout the day I do my best to concentrate in class and get some of the portion done. But there is surely a long way to go.
Before the college ends- the sir drops a bomb.
"You guys have to compose a total song, for your project submission. It can be on any topic." He tells and gives some more details before he leaves.
Me, Shruthi, and Shubham reach the cafeteria our usual hang-out place.
"So what are your plans? In just 1 ½ years we will be leaving into each of our paths." He says as he sips on his milkshake.
" I might start working in a company. I want to work as a producer." Shruthi answers as she sips her own milkshake. I gawk at her, overwhelmed by the fact that. I didn't decide anything and it always comes to bite my ass. I still remember when I was selecting this major.
"Do you really want to go into music?" My mom asked me for the thousandth time.
"Yes, Maa," I say as I scour the internet for good colleges.
"What do you plan on moving after that?" She asks me a serious question, but I took it lite.
"I will figure it out later," I tell her as I hum to the songs that were playing on one side of my ear.
"You need to have a plan if you want to stay afloat in this career." My mom said to me but I paid no heed. Dad liked music, I like it too. I might as well take it. That was my only thought.
Do I regret taking it? No
But do I know how to make a future out of it? That also no.
As my thoughts seem to disperse, Shubham talks.
"Am planning on continuing to study. I don't see myself doing a job. I will just make songs when I want to." He says. Even he has it figured out.
I span my eyes around every person in the room. They smile and talk to their friend group. Everyone has it figured out except me. After I finish college I would have nowhere to go. I even suck at getting good grades will I even graduate. I have to take care of Mom, Nana, and Nani. I have to make my dad proud as well.
What if he hates me if I screw this up? Will he go I never expected this from you at all? Will he say he is better off without a daughter like me? Will my mom be like- I should have left you up at the orphanage when I had the chance? I didn't even let her date someone she thought was good for her. After dad's death, she might have needed some form of support and I ruined it for her.
At this point, I don't even know what am doing. My brain feels like am about to explode and my lungs have no air left. I try to take in rapid breaths but nothing is going in. My chest starts paining as I place my hand on it to apply some counterpressure.
Nothing in front of me is visible. I could just feel wetness around my eyes and immense pain in my chest.
"Saumya, Breath." I hear a voice from my side. Am I not breathing? Did I forget how it is done?
Just when I think I lost all my senses, A hand was placed on my back. I felt it. I tried to breathe.
Then again I hear a voice.
"Say me 5 things you see." That voice repeated. But my eyes seemed blurry I couldn't see anything. I took a deep breath wiped my eyes and I could see something.
"Say me 5 things you see." That voice repeated again.
"Glasses, bag, plates, books, and papers," I tell looking around to find things.
"Say me 4 things you can touch around you." The voice again repeated twice.
" My dress, my hair, my skin, table, and coffee cup," I answer back.
"Say me 3 things you hear." The voice says, now I recognize it as shubham's
"Shubham, children laughing, door closing," I tell exhaling a deep breath. My chest pain got down significantly.
" Two things you smell." His voice echoes again.
"Chocolate and Coffee," I tell him taking deep breaths, it was as if my lungs started functioning again.
"Do you have any taste you can feel in your mouth?" He asks me again.
"My saliva," I answer. That answer shocked me and it was as if I regained my senses. I look around and see Shruthi looking at me genuinely scared and Shubham on the other side still had his hand on my back.
"You are ok Saumya, nothing is happening," Shubham says his words as a reminder to nothing is actually happening. Nothing is happening. You are not in danger, I remind myself.
Shubham slowly removes his hand and fetches my water bottle from my hand.
"Drink it." He says and I obediently do as he says.
"Am sorry." The words pop out of my mouth without me even knowing.
"You don't have to be," Shubham says once again as he gets back to his quiet self.
"Is something wrong?" Shruthi asks me taking hold of my hand. While I still concentrate on breathing.
"What happened?" I ask totally confused. I never experienced such immense pain and dread before.
"You had a panic attack. It happens when something is bothering you." He explains. I heard about panic attacks before but I never knew how terrifying they are.
"Is something bothering you? Do you want to talk about it?" She asks me and I nod my head negatively.
But I got the answer to what is bothering me-
I miss my dad.
🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂
Hey! As my best friend started reading again and got the time to read, I will be posting a double update! Scroll away!
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
