what was that?

047

MESSAGES

B

Today 4:44 AM

Sierra
B?

I know I’ve told you almost everything about when I got lost at Cebu sa call natin kanina.

Brooklyn...

I cannot verbally say all of these but that night? I don’t know, the first thing that came into my mind and the first thing that I did was to ask for him.

He looked for me and found me immediately. 

Miguel Lorenzo.

I don't know.

I think

I think, I am feeling things?

God, I did not see myself saying these things but here goes nothing

When he found me by the shed, it was raining, I was so cold. He went out of the car with concerned look on his face as if he’s been trying hard, himself, not to cry.

It was as if he was always ahead of what I feel, B. Always more excited than me, always more nervous than me, always more terrified than me.

The look on his eyes, of his eyes, it was so comforting, always so expressive. And how much how annoying he could be, he always knows the right things to say. And the right things to do, too.

B, this is utterly scary.

Maybe I was just attached to the attention? The care? The consistency? Or I don’t know. It has been months with him prying in my peaceful life. Calling me his, taking care of me, always reminding me of things, always giving me things I didn’t know I actually need.

But he wasn’t saying anything about all of it. About why is he doing all these, about what he want from me. He always implies something but how can I decide what it is that he really wants from me?

B. I don’t know what to do. I might as well tell you these things. Hopefully saying all these things will jinx what I am overthinking. Baka wala lang to.

You knew I liked him way before right? During college?

Then he suddenly disappeared from my life after pushing me onto someone I didn’t even like. He’s so stupid for doing that to me.

I think it’s coming back. And it feels scary.

Because it’s him again? Maybe.

Admitting all these feels surreal and scary. I don’t want these, B. But I cannot help it.

And, maybe you're somehow right. He’s still that Miguel Lorenzo from college. He’s always easy to come along with. Always easy to fall for.

5:30 AM

B
???????

SI IDLE MAY CRUSH OMG

Sierra
Jesus Christ. Shut up.

6:19 AM

B
Love, alam ko, ako, pasimuno sa pang-aasar sa iyo diyan kay Milo, but always know that I am on your side, okay?

If you are feeling things, like what you’ve said, you have choices, Sier.

Allow yourself to feel those feelings, or suppress them and make something to stop them.

At sa bagay na iyan, ikaw lang ang makakapagtimbang at makakaalam kung ano ang gusto at dapat mong gawin.

Sa Davao, you’ll be with him, diba? You could use that opportunity to test things, weigh things, about yourself and about his motives.

And if you finally have an answer from yourself, talk to him. Ask him. After all, actions with no words would not be called verified and confirmed, right?

Sierra
You’re really using media jargons about this, B?

B
GAGA KA PINANSIN TALAGA

Talino ko ba? Chos

Basta if you need someone to talk to, alam mo na kung kanino lalapit ha?

Nandito ako, ha? I'm always here for you, okie?

Sierra
Me too, B.

If you’re mad about Sir Cole, or having a bad day because of Sir Cole. Just drop everything here.

B
ANO BA YAN

MUKHA BA AKONG COLE NANG COLE

Sierra
Yes?

B
OO ALAM KO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

OK OK FINE BASTA U DIN HA

Sierra
Thank you for this. I really need someone to knock words on my head right now.

B
Ako pa ba? Message me, anytimeeee, kahit anes

LALO NA KAPAG KUMAKALAMPAG NA ANG SHIP

I love uuuuu 💗

And I am proud of you. Honest Sier? Damnst, slay.

TAKE YOUR TIME!!!!!!! EVERYTHING ON YOUR OWN SPACE AND PHASE, OKAY??? YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID!!! <3
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