Kurukshetra: The defining Krishna-Arjun journey

𝔼𝕡𝕚𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕦𝕖

The war had changed their world in more than one ways.

Everywhere they went, on the streets, in the palace, women shrieked like ospreys in grief.

Gandhari and Dhritarashtra, under the weight of the death of so many children, had set forth from Hastinapur the day after the war ended. Yudhishthir went after them immediately after having got the news with his brothers, and it had taken much coaxing to bring them back. Dhritarashtra had been furious, almost murderous in his rage towards Bheem in particular, but the five of them had borne it patiently and won their forgiveness, for they could not have imagined ruling in Hastinapur without their aunt and uncle.

Uttara's womb with her and Abhimanyu's child having been destroyed, she scarcely felt like getting up from her bedchambers. Panchali had stopped smiling altogether; her blazing smile that could light up the whole world was almost fading in Arjun's recollection. Kunti walked and talked like a zombie, as if she was trying to look beyond this realm into the other one.

Only Subhadra held them all up.

The war had chipped away her easygoing exterior and left behind her core, which had Arjun only recently discovered to be unbreakable like iron.

It was the day of the water rituals; women and surviving men went in a large procession to the holy river Ganga to offer water to their fallen family and friends. Mother Ganga seemed to have spread out further to give access to her waters, but Her banks were melancholy.

Arjun kept his eyes closed while offering water to each person whose loss he mourned. There were so many, just so many; but he must not leave anyone out.

To Abhimanyu, Srutakarma and Iravan, my sons, you three were everything I have ever wanted, and I am so, so proud of you.

To Ghatotkach, my nephew, I am more sorry than you can imagine and I cannot wait to tell you that in person.

To Prativindhya, Sutsoma, Satanika and Srutashena, my dear nephews who survived the entire war with your competence, I am so proud of you.

To King Drupad, my father-in-law, thank you for forgiving us for wronging your daughter and never stopping to treat us with love. 

To Drishtadyumna and Shikandin, my brothers-in-laws, thank you for forgiving us for wronging your sister and remaining our best friends.

To King Virata, thank you for taking us in like your own during the most difficult year of our life.

To Uttar and Shankha, you were like my sons, too, I will miss you.

To King Drishtaketu, to Panchal's warriors, to Matsya's warriors, to Kuntibhoja's warriors, to every ally of ours, I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry.

Arjun opened his eyes to a dimmed world and straightened up.

This had just been their side. There were so many left on the other side. But did he have the right to offer water to the ones he had helped kill?

"You do." Madhav, who had been standing beside him, spoke quietly, reading his mind like always. "You have the right to pay your respects to each one you miss, Parth."

Arjun nodded and knelt again.

To Pitamah and Gurudev, you were the only fathers I have known, you two are the reason behind everything I am today, even if it is nothing much to be proud of.

To Uncle Shalya, I wish you were not tricked into fighting against us and did not have to die.

To Lakshman, Drumsena, and all my nephews from my cousins' side, our enmity was with your fathers, not you, and yet we never got the chance to meet at all.

To Vikarna, my cousin, did we ever get round to thanking you for daring to speak up for Panchali when we did not?

To each of my cousins and each warrior who was pulled into this war out of obligations.

A fit of particularly violent sobbing above the general wails broke Arjun's concentration.

"Maa?" Yudhishthir and Sahadev were the first ones to reach Kunti, who was convulsing on the banks. "Maa!"

Arjun and Nakul followed suit, exchanging a panicked glance.

"The King of Anga, whom you know as a suta, Radha and Adhirath's son--whom Arjun slew in battle, generous and radiant Karna, Duryodhan's truest friend--" Kunti choked. "Offer him water, my sons, for he was your firstborn brother, my son by the Sun."