Dan and Phil Phanfiction

Maybe

Warning: Thoughts of suicide and self harm

Dan's POV

It's been three days. It feels like more. So much more.
I wish I was straight. No. Then I wouldn't be with Phil. I wish I didn't exist. I was the reason my father died. It was my fault.
But I love Phil.
But it was my fault.

Phil's POV
Tomorrow's the funeral. I don't want to go. It'll make things worse. I'm trying so hard though. I've done all I can to make Dan feel better. Haven't I?
This is just all my fault. I try to tell myself that it's not. But why lie to yourself? You can't do that. Because you know the truth no matter what. Dan was better off without me. I don't know why I had to meet him, to fall in love with him.
It just makes things harder.
But I'm not going to leave. Not now. He needs me. No! I can't leave Dan, ever! Just a few days ago things were fine. But everything has changed.
A week can do a lot. It can change people. It can make you lose the will to live. It can guilt you into things. Especially when it's your fault. I walked down the hallway towards Dan's room. Then I stopped.
I was right in front of the door. Just do it! Knock! But I just stood there. As if waiting for something.
I heard a loud scream come from inside his room. My red eyes widened. The scream was followed by a smash somewhere near the door. "Why?"
My eyes filled with tears for the hundredth time today.
I raised my balled-fist to knock on the door. My hand was inches inches away from wood when I heard another crash. The door shook. I realized that he pounding his fists onto the wall. I heard him mutter a few words. "My fault..."
I bit my lip so hard it should've been bleeding. But I wouldn't have noticed. Nothing was as painful as listening to Dan's emotion-filled screams through the wall. I took a shaky breath and knocks on the door, almost too quiet to be heard. But Dan heard it.
He opened the door, reluctantly. I gasped as I saw the tears on his cheeks. Not that I didn't expect him to be crying. But it was so....sad. His eyes were bloodshot and his shirt was soaked with tears.
"Are you okay?" I asked, my voice more rigid than normal. Then I but my lip, realizing how clueless my question sounded. Dan just looked at me. Then he sighed.
"I'm just...I don't know..." I pulled him into a hug. "Its okay. You don't need to know." He let out a shaky laugh at my bluntness. And we just stayed like that for a while. Him in my arms. Holding him protectively. It was like I could save him from the pain. Oh, how I wish I could.
I wish I could make the pain go away.

Dan' POV

Phil's arms snaked around me, pulled me in safely. "It's okay. You don't need to know." I gave a small laugh. I felt a bit better. Just him embracing me felt like a burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I guess that just shows how much I love him.
I'm so glad he doesn't know. It would break his heart.
No it wouldn't. He doesn't care that much.
But he said he loved me.
Maybe he wouldn't notice. If I kept them hidden. If I didn't make them noticeable. Maybe.
I just want to die. Maybe I will die. Out of sadness. But Phil is here. He makes the sadness go away. I held Phil tighter and he pulled me closer into his chest.
I let go with one hand to lift his chin. Maybe he would help me. We moved closer till the gap was only a few inches. I looked into his icy-blue eyes that were filled with warmth.
"I love you." He whispered. Maybe he won't notice. "I love you too." I murmured back. I closed my eyes and leaned in to the kiss. It was nice. Soft, meaningful, innocent. Our lips moved slowly, in a perfect rhythm.
I pulled away from him. He looked into my eyes, my soul. We didn't speak. His eyes fluttered to my lips again. I looked away, blushing. Then my eyes fell onto something horrible.
I bit my lip and prayed he didn't see. I pulled up my sleeve. His eyes widened as he caught the movement. But he didn't move. Maybe he didn't notice?

Haiiiiii!!!! I haven't written in FORVER!! So I hope this chapter was good. I am going to try really hard to update more often because school is almost over and most of my projects have come to an end. Which means I have more free time! Yay! Well hope you liked the story! Please vote for it and comment what you think.