ʙᴀᴅ ʜᴀʙɪᴛꜱ| ᴍ. ᴘᴇʀᴇᴢ

eleven

The air was cold and bright, and not a single person was to be seen except the odd dog walker here and there. Ash played the events of last night over and over again in his mind, wondering what could possibly be the best thing to do.

"No, I don't want you to do anything." Maddy's voice had broken the night before and Ash couldn't hear her point. Why wouldn't she want him to get in trouble? To face the consequences of his actions? Was this what it felt like being crazy in love?

Love. Ash wondered what that felt like. If that was the feeling he had every time he saw Maddy, or if that was the feeling she got when she saw Nate. Ash hadn't slept at all last night. He laid there for a total of 5 hours doing nothing but piercing two holes in the pale ceiling. He heard Maddy and he knew she wanted him to stay out of it but there was a lingering voice in his mind, urging him to do something even if she didn't want him to.

School was crowded as usual, bodies pushing past one another without consideration. Classes overcrowded with depressed teenagers and Ash wandered the halls, wasting time to ensure he was at least twenty minutes late to class. When he finally wandered in, no one even batted an eye, as though he was so irrelevant that he'd suddenly turned invisible. He found his seat, tossed his empty bag to the floor and rested his head on the cool desk. His eyes flickered as he began to fall asleep but as he did, he noticed through the small window of the door: Maddy, dragged by police, tears streaming down her soft face.

Ash only watched as she wailed, each student's head turning to the source of the sound simultaneously. This was bad. He was frozen in his seat, unsure whether he should get up and follow her or stay in his seat. He chose to stay in his seat and gawp like the rest of the class. Maddy cared about her image dearly, the dramatic emotion in her face showed that all of that was beyond her now. She was taken away, and before he knew it the teacher was snapping their fingers at the class, bringing their attention back to the board.

Ash laid his head on the desk, facing the window and thinking about his choice. Was this the best thing to do? Report Nate for the abuse he showed towards Maddy? Would that really fix anything based on the way she was crying?

He furrowed his eyebrows, and let out a deep sigh. This wasn't easy. Sitting by and watching someone you care for destroy themselves. Sure, maybe he went about it the wrong way; he could've turned a blind eye just like Maddy had asked but was that really best for her? Now, at least Nate would get what he deserved, even if she resented him for it.

Soon, school was over. Well, that particular class was anyway. For Ash, this was the end of the day. He picked up his bag, pushing past everyone to get out the door first and when he did he found himself walking by the office, looking for any sign of Maddy, but all he could see was an empty waiting room and an office lady painting her nails. Ash looked at his shoes for a moment, and suddenly he was the 13 year old boy without a dad and a broken family, involving himself in organised crime with a new family he thought he could trust. Ash realised he had made a mistake, making a decision for Maddy despite her clearly arguing against it. He overstepped the boundaries he himself had built.

"Can I help you, sweetie?" The office lady asked, smacking her gum loudly as she painted her nails in a very bold shade of red. "Uh, no." Ash mumbled just loud enough for her to hear and slowly pulled himself away from the office. He'd made a huge mistake. There wasn't much he could do now, it was too late. Ash pulled out his phone, finding Maddy's contact and blocking it. Then he disabled all social media accounts. He didn't want her to need him anymore, especially if he was likely to so easily break her trust.

With that, he left school; walked back home.

The air was still chilly, making Ash shiver and rub his hands together for warmth. The pavements were empty on his journey home. Everyone was either at school or work; there was no time for skipping the way Ash seemed to do every day. He noticed people don't give up as easily as him; that they work hard and push themselves because without discipline or motivation living is essentially impossible. Ash wondered what life would be like without his mum or Ana. They both took care of him; adding a significance to his life that he didn't seem to do in return. And while he thought about his mum and sister, memories of his dad had begun to resurface. Like the time his dad had showed him his bike when he was 5, letting him join him for a ride down the street. Or when his father introduced him to his dedushka for the first time, and they all went out for ice cream, three generations enjoying each other's company.

He quickly pushed away the thoughts that were so eager to slip out.

Ash walked swiftly up the empty driveway, frustratedly unlocking the front door and forcing his way in. He stopped for a moment, his bag slipping off his shoulder and on to the hard wood floor. He soon followed, sliding against the cool, white wall; pulling his legs up to his chest just like he did as a little boy. Something about him was off today. Maybe it was the situation with Maddy, maybe it was the repressed feelings towards his childhood. All he knew was that he definitely needed a drink.

an:
heyy, long time no see (oops)

exams are finally over and I just realised I have all summer to do absolutely nothing, so I thought why not continue this book?

Sorry for the short chapter I'm rlly lazy and unmotivated at the moment and although this is basically a whole lot of nothing, it is key to the plot (I swr🙏). It's a lot of character building which can be rlly boring to write, I have so many exciting plot points I want to write about but I have to get the basics over and done with, major apologies if it's boring, I swear the feeling is mutual. Anyways thanks for reading and enjoyyy :))