"The Breakfast Club"

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"Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...and an athlete...and a basket case...a princess...a writer...and a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club."

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Shermer High school, on a Saturday morning, for eight insufferable hours.

My mother said nothing this entire ride, besides to chew me out, but I hadn't listened to a word she said. "Don't get another Saturday." Was all she said before ordering me out of the car, so I got out and almost got hit by someone else car, I flipped them off and was met with the outraged face of another parent.

So I walked on to the library, humming whatever songs came to mind along the way. One looks at the bunch in detention, I almost couldn't believe my eyes. One more came in, and I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out why she was here.

I recognized every single one of them, to my disdain, I guessed they knew me too. Based on the way they stared.

Claire, Anthony, Bender, Allison, and Brian.

I'd have one class with every one of them, and I could tell you first hand, they are an intriguing group of people who end up in detention together.

I took a seat at the table Bender was at, probably because he was the least insufferable prick here. Allison didn't count because I've never actually spoken to her. "How the fuck did you end up here?" He muttered, but before I could even get a word out, Vernon walked in.

"Well...Well here we are! I want to congratulate you for being on time..." He trailed off, because Claire had raised her hand. " Excuse me, sir? I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention, but...um...I don't think I belong in here..." She was ignored while Vernon continued, but I took a piece of paper from my bag and tossed it at her head. Bender held in a laugh while Claire looked back in disgust.

Vernon glared at me, giving me a warning, before he started talking again. "It is now seven-oh-six. You have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why you're here. To ponder the error of your ways..." I scoffed.

The error of our ways? What could be the error. I can't speak for everyone but I had a good reason. More or less.

Bender threw his head back and spit in the air, catching it again. It was impressive but disgusting at the same time. Claire looked like she was about to gag.

"You may not talk. You will not move from these seats." Brian stopped himself from moving to the next chair over while Vernon watched him. Bender had his feet on the table but Vernon threw them off, "And you. You may not sleep." He sent him a glare. "Alright people, we're gonna try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay--of no less than a thousand words--describing to me who you think you are." I internally groaned at the the thought of an essay this early, especially on a Saturday. "Is this a test?" Bender questioned, I rolled my eyes.

I'd brought a Walkman in my bag, sneaking it out of the house, and I was thankful I did. I only had a Scorpions cassette with me, it was the first one I dug out I mean. I put on the headphones and drowned out Vernon for a good minute until he noticed and snatched it from me. "Don't touch my shit, man!" I shouted, taking it back, "What kind of garbage is this." He grumbled. I flipped him off while his back was turned. To be fair, I was in the wrong there, but listening to Vernon's voice for extended periods of time should be a crime.

"Any questions?" He questioned, I had a lot since I didn't hear a good chunk of what he'd said before, of course Bender raised his hand, "Yeah, I got one. Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?" Bender asked, I made and awful noise to hold back laughter, Andrew and Claire did the same. "I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns." Vernon said cautiously. Oh brother, give me a break.

"That man...is a brownie hound." Bender scoffed, I grinned and looked up at the ceiling, trying to see if there were any designs in the ceiling tiles that I could spot. Then a weird noise sounded. Allison was biting her nails.

"Sounds like your breaking your fucking fingers." I laughed, she only smiled a bit in reply, everyone stared at her in shock until Bender spoke, "You keep eating your hand, your not going to be hungry for lunch." She spit her nails at him. "I've seen you before, you know." He told Allison, then pointed to Vernon's office as he leaned back in his chair. We all tensed, besides Bender, who could give a flying Fuck even if it hit him in the face.

Brian was playing around with his pen while muttering, "Who do I think I am? Who are you? Who are you?"

The last question hit me harder than I expected. Even if he was talking to himself. Who am I? I don't know who I am.

"...I am a walrus." Brian had his pen in his mouth, I almost laughed but kept composure. Bender looked at him in confusion so Brian took the pen out of his mouth, embarrassed. They both took off their jackets at the same time and when Bender noticed, he flared at Brian. He took his off completely while Brian kept his on. "It's the shits, huh?" Brian looked uncomfortable.

"Why'd you bring a Walkman to detention?" Bender asked, I shrugged, "I would get bored of hearing Vernon's voice, or the silence." I replied, he stifled a quiet laugh. "Whatcha listening to anyway?" I took out the cassette and showed it to him, "Scorpions, I have others though." I went back to staring at my paper and trying to think of anything to write.

Bender crumpled his paper up and threw it between Claire and Andrew, who noticed but ignored him. I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair.

"Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah...nah, nah, nah..." Bender was singing something, "I can't believe this is really happening to me." Claire complained, the singing abruptly stopped. "Oh, shit! What're we s'posed to do if we hafta take a piss?" Bender questioned loudly, "Try Vernon's office." I scoffed, Bender grinned but said, "If you gotta go..."

I gagged and got up out of my seat, going to the table behind Bender. This was going to be a long detention.

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