Dark Lord's Pet

Giggle Fits

Harry

He'd slipped from the bed when he felt the call of nature. Voldemort hadn't woken up, and Harry suspected it was because the man had been up far later than he himself. Nagini followed him to the bathroom, but he didn't mind, feeling certain that she'd been put up to it.

Instead of returning to the bed, he held an arm out to Nagini, which she twined up and laid herself heavily around his shoulders, weighing in what he guessed to be around 150 pounds, significantly more than himself. A small wisp of magic fixed the problem though, and he could carry her with ease. Feather-light charms were life savers.

He began to make omelets and hashbrowns, chopping up fruit to serve alongside and plenty of vegetables to go into the omelets. He'd never say it out loud, but he didn't approve of the way the Dark Lord ate. Harry thought it better to get nutrients from the least altered version of the food possible rather than from a solution.

The table was easy enough to set, but Harry didn't know if the older man took tea or coffee. A gentle movement when Nagini adjusted her position reminded him that he had a source of information, and he felt immediately foolish.

~Nagini, how does the Dark Lord-I mean, does he like tea or coffee?~

~He says coffee, but really it's more milk with a dash of coffee added~ the snake snorted ~Doesn't like strong coffee, and puts an outrageous amount of sugar in it.~

~Really?~ Harry said, surprised, ~I hadn't figured him for the type.~

A hissing laughter with a bit of a nasty edge, obviously poking fun at her master and quite happy to do so ~Wouldn't you? He just pretends it's healthier 'cuz he uses maple syrup instead of the white salt like kind. All foolishness if you ask me though. Maple syrup has barely more nutrients to it than sugar, and-~

~Are you done gossiping Nagini?~ A sharper tone cut in.

Harry jumped, quickly grasping Nagini so she couldn't fall off.

~No.~ she said, and Harry swore she was smirking as she said, ~I haven't told him about the time you were under the covers and started to-~

~I think that's enough of that~ Voldemort said hastily, quickly rushing over and encircling Nagini's jaws with his fingers.

Harry was beyond amused, and found himself speculating. There were only so many embarrassing things one could do under the covers that the Dark Lord would silence his pet on so hastily. He quietly snickered.

He could have sworn the lightest tint of coral bloomed high on the man's white cheekbones, and when the red eyes came flashing around to meet his, sparking, angry, and perhaps a little sheepish, Harry burst into laughter.

It was a bit rough, his chest still sore from the CPR, and he couldn't remember when last he laughed. To be perfectly honest, he hadn't expected to ever again. The heavy thoughts seemed to fall away like a winter coat though, and he was able to enjoy seeing the fearsome Dark Lord undone before him.

~Brat~ the man hissed at Nagini, so low Harry almost missed it, but seeing as he hadn't, it just fueled his amusement further.

Nagini was dropped unceremoniously onto the couch, and Voldemort stalked up to Harry, glaring with all his might and clasped a hand over his mouth. This didn't help the predicament at all, bubbling chuckles continued to erupt from him, and Voldemort moved so he stood behind the boy. 

Harry was perhaps 5, 1", short for his age, compared to Voldemort's height of 6, 2" which was very filled out. The older man towered almost comically over the younger, and while one hand was firmly clasped over the younger wizard's mouth, the other lay across his chest, pinning him to the older.

"Stop. Laughing. Or. I. Will. Hex. You."

As expected, this threat held no sway. If anything, Harry began to laugh harder. Voldemort lightly dragged a finger down Harry's neck, and Harry tried to smash his head against his shoulder. The attempt was foiled, and very soon the younger began writhing as everywhere most ticklish on his body began to crawl.

He couldn't help but laugh harder, and it got to the point where he couldn't draw breath to make noise it was so bad. Harry patted his captor's arm twice with a palm, the widely accepted signal for 'uncle' and the hex was released.

Harry found himself breathless, weight mostly resting on Voldemort, and then easily lifted and placed into a chair, "I'm- not-  a- baby!" he said between panting breaths, arguing against his treatment.

"So says the one laughing at something perfectly natural. The one that believed what a snake" there was so much venom in that word that Harry couldn't suppress a small grin, "told him!"

Voldemort was not helping his case, that was for sure. Harry stuffed a strawberry into his mouth to hide his reemerging giggle fit. Red eyes narrowed to slits, and the other man stomped off to the kitchen, muttering things like, "snake" "little brat" "make boots out of" "turn both of them into" "I oughta" it was really too much for Harry to bear, and he assiduously began plowing through the food on his plate.

The other man returned with a very pale mug of something faintly caramel colored, and Harry tried to look as innocent as possible as he dug into his omelet. He was ravenous, and knew how desperately he needed the calories. His ribs were even more defined than they had been the day before, and he was certain it was because his over expenditure of magic.

A feeling like an ice cube rolling down his back came over him, and he remembered how Voldemort had gotten through his defenses the night before.

"What did you see?" came Harry's quiet, rasping whisper.