Not who you think

3

3rd person POV:
Some time has passed, while the 2 were enjoying the serene night.

They weren't talking or anything, just getting lost in their thoughts, as they were watching the night sky full of bright stars, dreaming about a better life.

They only parted their ways with the upcoming sunrise.

The Young girl slowly made her way home, only to pack her school things and change her clothes to New ones - a Black Hoodie with Black ripped jeans.

After that, she sets off on her Journey to school, starting a new, inevitable cycle.

Once at school, she repeats the same process as the day before. Puts her happy face on, talks to her friends, but makes sure to stay as shallow as possible, then ignores the teachers and annoys them by making fun of everything. As always.

...

,, Hey Bellz? "her flegmatic friend interrupted her daydreams.

,, Huh?"

,, Will you eat or what? "

The same scenario as the day before. But this time, the confused girl didn't panic as much, fortunately.

,, Oh yeah, I forgot!" she fake laughed and promptly changed the subject.,, So guys, Did you see Bailey's face when she found out I fell asleep during her boring lecture?"

The 3 of them laughed, which made her feel a bit more relaxed, convinced they already forgot about her not eating.

,, Yup. She was so pissed and everyone was Laughing at you. Only you can do something like this to such a strict teacher. "

,, Yea I'm the worthy one!" she smiled proudly, pointing her index Finger to her chest, closing her eyes and gesturing her imagined superiority.

,, Calm your ego down girl. You are lucky she didn't report you to the principal." Maya spoke up in a serious tone.

,, Chill out. I know what I'm doing." she chuckled.

No. She doesn't. She doesn't know why she is doing it.

Why is she always disturbing everyone during classes? Why is she always trying to make everyone laugh? Why is she annoying all the teachers when she knows they will then hate her?

Is it because she can't stand her own thoughts, so she always tries to keep her mind busy by bothering everyone around her? Or is it because she herself is suffering, so she doesn't want anyone else to feel like her? Maybe she thinks it's her duty, her purpose, to make everyone laugh? Or maybe she is doing it on purpose, so that the teachers would hate her as much as she hates herself?

Maybe, just MAYBE.

...

Looking around and making sure no one's around, she lights her cigarette and begins walking to the direction of her favorite place - a big rock located in the forest near her school.

Making her way there, she passes a few of her classmates heading to Starbucks, like every other day.

Fortunately, she has already gotten rid of the cigarette a few minutes ago.

She waves at them, smiling, but as soon as they are not looking, her smile fades and the sparkles in her eyes quench.

To avoid any other encounter with somebody she knows, she turns left and finds herself in an sparsely populated alley. She prefers it to the crowded square. It gives her the ability to finally be herself, making her feel as if a weight has been taken off her shoulders. The weight of her own charade.

...

A few minutes passed and she finally reaches her destination.

Putting her backpack on the ground and sitting down on the previously mentioned rock, she finally relaxes as she looks at the incredible view.

The atmosphere is just amazing. Chilly autumn breeze is playing with colorful leaves, combing the tree branches, making the leaves fall off to the ground. The rays of Light are fighting their way through the remaining ones, creating an unforgettable scenario. One could even think that the nature herself is playing a show just for them.

Passing cars can be seen somewhere in the distance, behind the remote tree branches. If it wasn't for the trees, she would see the whole city. But she isn't complaining. On the contrary, she is so glad they are there, making the whole spot much more private, creating a place where she can hide from the world.

Right before she pulls out another cigarette, she unplugs her earphones, letting her songs play aloud. She doesn't have to care about other people hearing her singing loudly, because almost nobody knows about that place.

And so, she begins singing freely, putting all of her emotions behind every word. She isn't only singing. She is FEELING the lyrics.

,, Lately I've been feeling so ashamed
By these thoughts I'm hiding in my brain
'Cause I've been holding them down but they twist me violently
I'm hanging by a thread tonight, but this time I don't wanna be saved
So let me fall, let me break
Under everything unsaid
Just let me die 'cause I can't take
Living with what's in my head
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
Will it set me free?
What's the point of holding on like this?
When no one seems to care if I exist
There is no agony like being strong when no one knows you're sick
So sick of hearing, I should stay when I know I would never be missed
So let me fall, let me break
Under everything unsaid
Just let me die 'cause I can't take
Living with what's in my head
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
If you could see under my skin
You'd realize why I hold it in
Why it's a fight I don't wanna win
Why it's a fight I don't wanna win
If you could see all my abuse
And spend a day inside my shoes
You'd realize why I just wanna lose
You'd realize why I just wanna lose
Will anyone believe the hell of being me
Before I decide to be the dying proof?
So let me fall, let me break
Under everything unsaid
Just let me die 'cause I can't take
Living with what's in my head
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me
Will it set me free? "