Notes
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📕 Personal • January 12, 2023
Letters to L
Day 905
Hi. It's weird lang. Kahit sa notes ko nahihiya pa rin akong isulat mga gusto kong sabihin sayo. It's kinda overwhelming, seeing the number of days I've been writing to you. 2 years. Every day. And I don't know when I'll stop.
It's been a while seen I saw you in person. Like, close up. Medyo nag-panic ako kanina nung nalaman kong kasama ka ni Adi. I didn't know what to do. Gusto kitang kausapin. Nung umalis ka, nung tayong dalawa lang ang natira kanina, gusto kong hawakan yung kamay mo. I wanted to ask you to stay, but that would be terrible of me when in the first place, ako yung unang umalis.
Lam mo ba, minsan, iniisip ko kung parehas pa rin number mo. I still have yours saved. With my nickname for you. I want to message you and ask how you've been. Ang gulo ko no? I don't want to go back to that, and yet here I am. Still dwelling over what we could've been kung hindi lang ako naging mahina.
And even after years have passed, I haven't muster any strength to go past that. I can't. I still blame myself for everything.
After pondering, I do admit. Mahal pa rin kita. I know we were still young back then, but my feelings for you never changed. For the past 2 years, there was no one after you.
But I had to avoid you for my own peace. Kaya, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry if I'm being selfish.
I'm sorry if I'm going to choose myself over you.
I'm sorry if I'm wishing things didn't get that bad for you when I left you hanging on.
I'm sorry.
But I'm going to veil all the love I feel for you beneath the lies I'm going to say.
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YOU ARE READING
Love Beneath Lies (Part 1) ✓
Romansa¦ Playlist Series #3 ¦ Second chances. Those two words are not in Lexi Valdez's vocabulary at all. Once you fucked up, that's it. No calls. No contacts. Nothing. But when she got to meet Niko Guerrera, her first love-her first heartbreak, years afte...
